We love Linda Lay

In Your Face

by Roger Gray

Hey, She Loves Animals, but You Have to Draw the Line Somewhere –

Short Alpha Male Alert! Houston Rockets owner Les “build me an arena or I dump Hakeem” Alexander is single and on the prowl. It seems his PETA-lovin’ better half, (and in his case that is not metaphorical) Nanci, has had enough. Whatever the tawdry details, it seems they are calling it a marriage. It appears that Nanci, unlike Lee Brown, would like to escape the stigma of having willingly been in bed with Les.

They’re Clearing Out Pulitzer Shelf Space For –

– the Houston Chronicle’s Shelby Hodge, who apparently has a completely tin ear to the sensibilities of the public. The fact that this journalistic equivalent of a White House intern continues to shamelessly plug Linda Lay’s “resale shop” with a devotion usually reserved for live-in pool boys is mind-boggling. Disgraced (and if there is divine justice, soon to be dressed in orange) former Enron CEO and head weasel Ken Lay’s wife has been treated to a front page story and periodic updates about her pawn shop to the stars. Why no one in Chronicle management has said, “Hey, maybe this isn’t in very good taste,” will perhaps only be revealed to us in the hereafter. Whatever the cause, it is one more reason to lament the late Houston Post.

I am a Lineman for the County – and I Just Screwed L.A, –

Before we leave the “energy sector scandal” topic, Dynegy jefe Chuck Watson has said “basta,” grabbed a bag of money and left his post just ahead of a pack of shareholders resembling nothing so much as the mob in “Frankenstein.” This in the wake of the Enron/Andersen fallout that has shaken confidence in everything energy-related. And while we’re on the subject, remember when we all wrote the paper and called talk shows in a state of high dudgeon over charges that Texas was the cause of the California energy crisis? “Whiney brie-eaters!” we charged. “How dare they blame our corporate sons and daughters for their own dereg-Chernobyl.” Well – it appears they were right. We played those granola-chomping tree smoochers for a bunch of rubes and damn near got away with it. Now the feds are sniffing around. Is this what we paid good campaign protection money for?

Forgive Me Father – I Have Uttered a Bad Word –

The D. James Kennedy Center for Christian Statesmanship, whoever they are, has announced their annual “Distinguished Christian Statesman” award winner for 2002. This apparent inheritor of the mantle of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln is described by a Center mouthpiece named Frank Wright as – “a man who, while having a reputation for being passionate about issues, is respectful of other people and attempts to love his neighbor just as Christ has loved us.” Quickly, Frank, we’re palpitating with anticipation. Tell us who this paragon of virtue might be that we may heave accolades upon his brow. OK – drum roll please – and the winner is – Tom DeLay! Well, all right – we are heaving, but it could just be ozone.

To Run a Surplus Would Mean the Terrorists Have Won –

My illusions have been stripped cleaner than a Boston altar boy. Let me get this straight. In fiscal year 2000, the United States had a budget surplus of $236 billion. Social Security was going to be OK, we were paying down a national debt that had quintupled since Ronald Reagan took office, and we boomers could relax a bit. One tax bill, one short recession and one war on terror later and we are looking at a $150 billion deficit. I thought tax cuts stimulated the economy. I thought they increased government revenue. Of course, they didn?t really in the ’80s – that’s a standard political myth, but the only administration we have says they haven’t cost us, either. They say it’s the war (and don’t you dare criticize any of it, you Benedict Arnolds!) that is to blame. The total so far on the war is nearly $20 billion. And the rest? Do we remember that Spanish temptress of the 1980s, Rosy Scenario? She has worked her wiles again and conned us into cutting revenues. And it won’t improve anytime soon. In fact, it will get worse. Your assignment – read Paul Krugman in The New York Times. Read him regularly. He is the only person making sense on economics. And he apparently is not distributed on Pennsylvania Avenue.