Aspen, Colorado

Lower fares up there
Whet your appetite in Aspen off-season

Scenery, spa and specials are just some of the reasons to enjoy Aspen sans crowds.

The scenery in and around Aspen is majestic. Flowers and trees bloom; rivers flow as the snow melts and summer ushers in warm weather activities.

Aspen’s summer beauty shines in May and June, but the pace in this hectic ski town slows. Some of the restaurants are closed, and staff at open ones happily seat you without reservations. What a wonderful time to enjoy unbeatable dining in this culinary gem.

Though it’s a long way from the sea, you don’t want to skip sushi at Matsuhisa, renowned chef Nobu Matsuhisa’s outpost here. The signature black cod, marinated in sweet miso for 48 hours and paired with a hint of cilantro, is a crowd favorite. The celebrity chef personally trains the staff and visits often.

The Wild Fig specializes in Greek fare. Start with a sampler platter of tabouli and hummus. The best dish (and seemingly most healthy) is their salmon. It’s wrapped in parchment paper and steamed for 15 minutes.

With its fishbowl window setup, Mezzaluna (serving modern Italian food) is a blast. The lively bar is a great spot to enjoy a tomato, mozzarella and fresh bread appetizer. Half-moon artwork adorns the walls, a nod to the restaurant’s name.

Aspen’s dining scene is evolving with Euro-Asian, Pan-Asian and other fusion cuisines. Jimmy’s separates itself from the crowd by serving what he calls “Fierce American Food: strong and straightforward.” The house special is the 28-ounce Big Rib-Eye, bone-in and dry-aged for 35 days.

Many locals say Cache Cache serves the best fare in the area. Intrigued by the claim, we tried the escargot and crab and lobster salad. The service was impeccable and the food delightful.

Woody Creek Tavern is a casual eatery eight miles from town on the bike trail. People ride here by the droves. The margaritas are so fresh, Rachel Ray called them the best stateside. The pulled pork sandwich is a specialty, and there are many vegan options.

If you don’t get enough barbecue at home, your last Aspen meal should be at Hickory House. En route to the airport, this Aspen institution serves some of the best ribs around.

Food is not the only way to indulge in Aspen off-season. Rates at the St. Regis Spa are 20 percent off list prices.

Essentials:
The Wild Fig, 315 E. Hyman Ave.; 970-925-5160 Matsuhisa, 970-544-6628 Mezzaluna, 624 E. Cooper Ave.; 970-925-5882; www.mezzalunaaspen.com

Jimmy’s, 970-925-6020, jimmyyea@msn.com
Cache Cache, 205 S. Mill St.; 970-925-3835
Woody Creek Tavern, 0002 Woody Creek Plaza; 970-923-4585
Hickory House, 730 W. Main; 970-925-2313
The St. Regis, 315 East Dean Street; 970- 920-3300

Summer Damage Control

Most Beautiful

Defining Beauty H Texas Presents the 25 Most Beautiful Houstonians

Throughout history writers have tried to define beauty through poetry and prose. In the novel “Molly Bawn,” Margaret Wolfe Hunferford wrote, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and many writers and philosophers have expressed different versions of the same sentiment. Benjamin Franklin wrote, “Beauty, like supreme dominion, is but supported by opinion” and in the words of Shakespeare, “Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye.” In a more eloquent description of the essence of beauty, John Keats wrote: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Its loveliness increases. It will never pass into nothingness.” We at H Texas define beauty as the ability to spread joy, lift spirits, encourage and inspire, and we measure it through service to mankind. With that definition in mind, we present our fourth annual 25 Most Beautiful Houstonians. The men and women on our list for 2008 make our city a more beautiful place through their courage, talent, creativity and devotion to communities in need.

1. LACY BAIRD: Real estate manager and third generation Houstonian Lacy Baird has received regional and national honors for more than 35 years of devotion to Arabian horses. Her other passion is giving back to the community. At the Houston Polo Club, Baird has chaired events for the Sunshine Kids and Casa de Esperanza and fund-raisers for Friends of Hermann Park, Citizens for Animal Protection, Baylor College of Medicine and other organizations. Her newest endeavor is the fight against cancer. Her paternal aunt was diagnosed with ovarian cancer; her mother with breast cancer. Baird recently tested positive for a rare gene mutation called BRCA, which puts her at high risk of breast and ovarian cancer. She plans to devote her life to educating, writing about and raising money for breast and ovarian cancer research. With medical treatment and a positive outlook, she will fight to live a long life for her 2-year-old daughter, Stella.

2. MARIA BUSH: The always-busy wife of Neil Bush and mother of two young children finds time to work as a community volunteer. A bundle of enthusiasm and energy, she loves working with the charity started by her mother-in-law, The Barbara Bush Family Literacy program. She is also active in the March of Dimes, Kick Start, Arrow Project, Points of Light and the Children’s Assessment Center.

3. CONNIE COOKE: Well-known as a writer and equally notable for volunteer work, fund-raising and community service, Cooke has chaired the University of Houston Moores School of Music Gala, the Silver Grace Hope Foundation luncheon, the Lone Star Wildlife Rescue Evening, the Trees of Light for the Hospice at the Texas Medical Center, the Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston luncheon, the Houston Symphony Maestro Collection luncheon and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation Gala. She co-chaired the Cancer League luncheon and the Symphony Scores Dinner Series and serves on the board of Summerridge Houston and the Houston Humane Society. This is her fourth year on the board of the Partnership for Baylor College of Medicine.

4. ANDY CORDES: “The shining light of Gittings” tries to avoid the spotlight, but has contributed greatly to the success of many charitable organizations. “I am just an ordinary guy from a small Midwest town who is privileged to be associated with an extraordinary company serving a notable clientele,” he says. “I cherish the opportunities to assist our leaders make a difference in our community, and we take every opportunity to do what we can to help.” That help has been showered on the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America, Houston Children’s Charities, Baylor College of Medicine and many other organizations.

5. FRANCI CRANE: During her 20-year legal career, the Houston Press named her one of the “women lawyers who men fear.” Today she spends most of her time volunteering in the community. An ardent champion of the arts, Crane sits on the executive committees of the Alley Theatre, Houston Grand Opera, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, and Imprint, Inc. She is also a board member of Communities in Schools, Bo’s Place and the Episcopal Health Charities. She chaired the Alley Theatre’s Capital Campaign, and with help from her husband, Jim, the opera’s Heavenly Ball.

6. FULTON DAVENPORT: President of PWL Studio and one of Houston’s most respected and requested photographers, Davenport is committed to our charitable community. “Anyone can give money, but to give of one’s actual time and expertise is a much rarer find,” Fulton says. He helps the Boys and Girls Harbor, an organization providing safe harbor to child victims of family violence and abuse. Close to his heart is the Family to Family Network, which provides information, referrals, counseling, training and support to families who have children with disabilities and illnesses. Fulton supports arts organizations and urges everyone to get involved with one of his favorite projects, Elves and More. “The Christmas bicycle-giving soiree is an amazing event, and anyone reading this should plan on helping next year. It is so moving and is a perfect way to share your life’s blessings with those in need during the holiday season,” he says.

7. SYLVIA FORSYTHE: Many of Houston’s gala committee chairs and members call her a “fairy godmother.” While her job as public relations and fashion manager for Saks Fifth Avenue automatically involves her in a variety of fund-raisers and functions, she has personal favorites: Key to the Cure, supporting the Cancer Center at St. Luke’s, the Crohns and Colitis Winter Ball, The Bridge, The Trailblazer Committee luncheon, the Houston Ballet and Texas Children’s Hospital. Forsythe’s loving heart and passion for charity have endeared her to all who know her.

8. KENNETH GAYLE: As written in the Chicago Sun Times, “Neither scenery nor intricate lighting is required when a singing actor of his caliber takes the stage.” Hailed as one of the faces to watch, Gayle is accumulating accolades in his rising opera, concert and stage career. As a cast member of the staged concert Three Mo’ Tenors, he appeared on the TV broadcast of the NAACP Image Awards. Even with a packed 2008 performance schedule including stops in Baltimore, Bethesda, Seattle and Houston, Gayle makes time to volunteer. He served as artistic director/performer for Cabaret for a Cure benefiting AIDS Foundation Houston, performing artist for the Mukuru Arts for AIDS series, guest performer/student mentor for the Over the Rainbow fund-raiser supporting Yellowstone Academy, guest performer with KUHF Ensemble in fund-raising concerts at the Menil and the Evin Thayer Studios, and adjudicator for the NAACP Academic, Cultural and Technical (ACT) Scholastic Olympics.

9. KIRSTEN GUERRA: After graduating with honors from TCU, Guerra worked in New York and Dallas before returning to Houston to work in real estate. Inspired by her mother’s acts of community service, she began volunteering with Kappa Kappa Gamma for many charitable events and organizations. She volunteers for Special Olympics, Cystic Fibrosis, St. Jude Children’s Hospital and Children’s Assessment Center.

10. JANET GURWITCH: Prior to founding Gurwitch Products, the company that produces, manages and markets Laura Mercier Cosmetics and Skincare, Janet Gurwitch was the executive vice president of merchandising for Neiman Marcus, overseeing ready-to-wear, accessories, shoes and cosmetics departments. She is on the boards of the University of Texas Health Science Center and the Girl Scouts of America. She chaired the Child Advocates luncheon fund-raiser and is active in the Alexis de Tocqueville Society. She co-chairs the March of Dimes Best Dressed luncheon next year.

11. LISA HOLTHOUSE: A native Houstonian, Holthouse devotes much of her time to the Holthouse Foundation for Kids, which serves at-risk youth through character education and life skills programs. The foundation has worked with the Children’s Museum of Houston, Houston Achievement Place, KIPP Academy, YES Academy, Provision, Boys & Girls Club and Family Service Center. Holthouse served as a national board member for After-School All-Stars, as well as chair of the local board. She has served on the board of AIDS Foundation Houston and serves as vice chair and co-founder of Prepared 4 Life. She has chaired fund-raisers for both After-School All-Stars, Children’s Museum, AFH Houston and Prepared 4 Life.

12. VICTORIA NAU JOHNSON: A love of animals and the outdoors drives her to lend her talents, energy and resources to Citizens for Animal Protection, Ducks Unlimited and the Coastal Conservation Association. Johnson also serves on the Victory Committee of the American Cancer Society and the RNC Roundtable. She is a board member of Jr. VolunTIRR and The Good Samaritan Center and a member of the Junior League of Houston. Heavily involved with the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, Johnson serves as a committeeman on the Breeders Greeters and Parade committees and team captain on the Corporate Development Committee. She and her husband, Parker, chaired the Ben Johnson Memorial Cowboy Classic Cutting, raising record-setting funds for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

13. Jennifer Jumonville: Deciding at an early age to devote her life to children, Jumonville began her career as a third grade teacher at St. Francis Episcopal Day School. As director of development at the Westview School, she worked with children with Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PCD), such as autism, and other communication disorders. She volunteers for Camp John Marc, the Children’s Museum Family Night, Texas Children’s Hospital, YMCA Camp Rainbow, Diabetes Day Camp, Junior League of Houston and the Grace Bible Church. She also volunteers on mission trips to South Africa.

14. ROB LANDES: Pianist, organist, arranger, conductor and published composer, Landes is one of the best-known musicians in Houston. He was the keyboardist for the rock group Fever Tree, whose four albums are still heard worldwide. The Rob Landes Trio has performed in venues all over the country. Landes has been collaborating with Dr. Sidney Berger for eight years, writing musicals for the Children’s Theatre Festival at the University of Houston. He has been the organist/artist-in-residence at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Houston since 1996. Landes performs about 75 concerts each year, either as a solo performer or with his Trio, to raise funds for various organizations. His musical gifts, wit and generous heart contribute greatly to the hometown he loves.

15. CARMEN MARIA LECHIN: She is a former Miss Venezuela, Miss South America and was second runner-up in the Miss Universe pageant. An award-winning broadcast journalist, Lechin is on the advisory board of the Latin Women’s Initiative and chaired their Fashion Show luncheon. She chaired the fashion committee for the Mexican Women’s Initiative (MWI), is the president and founder of The Maecenas, MFAH, a support group for the Latin American Art Department, chairman of the concert committee of Virtuosi of Houston, board committee member of Success Scholarships Center, which raises scholarship funds for low-income Hispanic students, board member of Virtuosi of Houston, an organization raising funds for the education of young musicians, member of the Smithsonian Institute, chaired an event for The Rainforest Foundation, and created and developed Fundación las Misses, a fundraising organization helping pediatric hospitals buy equipment. She chairs the Institute of Hispanic Culture’s Gala de las Americas in October.

16. MICHAEL MCCLURE: Director of Tiffany & Company, Galleria, McClure grew up in Beaumont in a single-parent home. He attended nine schools in 12 years, and though going to college seamed like the impossible dream, he was determined to get a degree. After honorably serving his country in the US Navy, he moved to Houston, attended The University of Houston, and received his certification from the Gemological Institute of America in diamond and colored stone grading. In 1993 McClure joined Tiffany & Co. where he worked as a security officer for more than five years before becoming the operations manager. People often ask how he went from security guard to director of the whole store. His philosophy, which he teaches to kids in many community outreach efforts (which include the Linda Lorelle Scholarship Fund and the United Negro College Fund, among others) is to “be determined, have a strong desire and jump-start yourself!”

17. MICA MOSBACHER: An advocate for abused children and former victim herself, Mosbacher gives a voice to those who have been hurt. She chaired the inaugural event for Texans Against Sexual Abuse in Houston. Her impact on our community is large; she serves on the boards or committees of an array of organizations and institutions. For more than 10 years she has been a member of the National Council of Best Friends, a character education program, and spearheaded the group that brought the program to seven schools in Houston. For many years she has chaired the Best Friends Gala in Washington, D. C. She has chaired many record-breaking charitable fund-raisers here and has hosted countless events in her home for the Houston Ballet, Museum of Fine Arts, Strake Jesuit Capital Campaign and the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center.

18. DARRYL MURCHISON: Fourteen years ago Murchison started creating holiday floral arrangements in his parents’ garage. He sold them to apartment complexes and hotels. Today his company, Darryl Murchison Design, produces events all across the country. He gives much credit for his success to his “incredible” staff. Always wanting to give back to the community, Murchison donates his time, creativity and resources to the International Special Events Society and the National Association for Catering Executives. In addition, he donates and designs for Child Advocates, American Heart Association, Houston Children’s Charity, Citizens for Animal Protection, the Memorial Hermann Foundation, American Red Cross and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

19. JOEL OSTEEN: He has been called “America’s voice of hope” and recognized as one of The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2006 by Barbara Walters. Osteen and his wife, Victoria, are the pastors of America’s largest church, Lakewood Church in Houston. Through weekly televised sermons, his New York Times best sellers, sold-out international speaking tours and weekly podcasts, he inspires tens of millions of people in more than a hundred nations. While Joel and Victoria support many charities, they’re focused on building a shelter for troubled teens with Mercy Ministries, founded by Nancy Alcorn.

20. FRAN FAWCETT PETERSON: During her 18 years in Houston media, Peterson fought to get desperately needed coverage for charities and the arts. She grew up with a passion for fund-raising, collecting money for the March of Dimes at age four and selling turkey raffle tickets for her school when she was eight. She has helped the Houston Grand Opera, Opera in the Heights, Wellsprings, Stages, Susan G. Komen, CCFA, Northwest Assistance Ministries, M. D. Anderson Cancer Research Center and DARE. She serves on the executive board of the Symphony Society and is a member of the Houston Symphony League, the Salvation Army Women’s Auxiliary, the Ballet Guild and the fund-raising committee of Victory, a branch of the American Cancer Society. She and her husband, Phillip, are avid supporters of Rice University’s Baker Institute, The University of Houston Law School and the Moores School of Music. They chaired the 2004 Houston Symphony Ball.

21. RACHEL REGAN: “I get so much satisfaction from community, family and charity, because you get back so much more than you give,” Regan says. Motivated by a deep love of animals, she chaired the Citizens for Animal Protection Gala last year, served on the Capital Campaign Committee to raise funds for the new CAP shelter, co-chaired the first Derek Dog fund-raiser luncheon for CAP and served as honoree ambassador for the organization this year. She serves as the provisional chairman of the Junior League of Houston, member of the board of directors of St. Luke’s Episcopal Hospital Friends of Nursing, and is a founding board member of Women of Wardrobe, which supports Dress for Success Houston. She is a guild member of the Houston Ballet, the Zoo Friends Guild, the March of Dimes, the American Cancer Society and the Baylor Women’s Association of Houston.

22. DANIELLE SHBEEB: Owner and president of The Perfect Face makeup and hair studio, Shbeeb travels often as the official makeup artist for Miss Texas USA, Miss Texas Teen USA, Miss USA, Miss Universe and many other beauty contests worldwide. She is a charter member of the Deaf Blind Children’s Fund and supports and volunteers for the Justice Foundation, DePelchin Children’s Center, Get Tough Project (campaign against childhood obesity) and the Sunshine Kids. She says giving back is her lifelong endeavor.

23. CAROL SAWYER: She started volunteering as a child, walking door to door with her mother collecting for various charitable causes. Sawyer has held every position on a fund-raising committee and believes they are all equally important, whether addressing envelopes, acquiring auction items, serving on boards or chairing events. Past president and current board member of The Partnership for Baylor College of Medicine, she serves on the advisory council of the Maxine Mesinger Multiple Sclerosis Foundation and is a member of the Cancer League Advisory Board. For three years she was vice chairman of the Wine Competition and Auction Committee for the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo and has worked in many capacities for Houston Children’s Charity.

24. SUZANA BRENER DE STERN: From her parents who were involved community service in Mexico, Suzana Brener De Stern learned early to give to others. When she was only 8 years old she gave her bicycle to a poor child on the street. She has always known the vital importance of preserving the earth’s rain forests, which she has called “the lungs of the earth,” and it was when she chaired The Rainforest Foundation Gala in 2000 that her charity work and fund-raising blossomed. With a strong desire to make a difference, she has chaired the Institute of Hispanic Culture Gala and The Latin Women’s Initiative luncheon. A native Mexican, Suzana’s passion is helping Houston’s Hispanic community, but she is active in many diverse organizations, including Theatre Under the Stars, Hadassah, Victory, La Tremenda Radio, Keshel Elion School of Music, Challenge Aspen and her children’s schools. She and her husband, Juan, have opened their home to multiple organizations.

25. DELISE WARD: A native Houstonian, Ward discovered her love of photography while attending the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts. When modeling in Paris, France, her interest in photography (behind the camera) was revived. She returned to Houston and built a strong reputation for fashion photography at both the Paige Parkes and Neal Hamil agencies. Known for her mastery of photography in natural light settings, she excels in fashion, editorial, commercial and family photography. In recent years, she has been an instructor and guest critic at the Houston Center for Photography. Known in the photographic community as generous and open-hearted, Ward commits her time and talent to worthy causes. Her favorite way to give back is by donating portraits to families at the Star of Hope Mission.

I love your dress! And could you please pass the Bazooka?

Dear Ladies Who Lunch,

I love gum. Gum is playful, and I feel like a kid when I’m chewing it. In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m plowing through a pack of Dentyne Ice, Arctic Chill.

I started chewing gum a few years ago when I noticed hordes of thin, gorgeous Texas women chewing lots of it. That’s when it hit me. Gum is actually a meal replacement. That’s right. You heard it here first, folks. Gum is the best dieting tool around.

I mean, why else would all these fabulous Texas women be chewing gum all the time? Like, literally, all day long? It’s because gum is better than Atkins, and Weight Watchers, and those awful protein smoothie shakes that taste like cement.

Gum, I realized, is the key to being thin. Let me give you an example. Say you’ve just worked out for two hours. You’ve done the treadmill, the stair stepper and a round of weights. You are sweaty, fatigued and feeling pretty good about burning all those calories.

At this point, you can either go for a cheeseburger, fries and a “Diet” Coke (remember you’re trying to lose weight here) or opt for a nice, refreshing slice of gum. Ahhh, the joys of sliding a thin little wafer-sized slice of gum into your mouth. And then chewing on it for the next six to eight hours until the hunger pangs subside.

I typically opt for the cheeseburger. But these thin, gorgeous Texas broads—I have a sneaking suspicion they’re reaching into their purses for that dainty, sugar-free pack of Orbit.

And yet, despite the obvious merits of bubble gum (blowing big fat bubbles that get stuck on your face), there is one place you should never, ever, not in a million years, pop a slice of Big Red. Or Wrigley’s Spearmint. Or Freshen Up. It’s the Black Tie Affair.

Gowns and gum don’t mix, ladies. In fact, watching a Texas woman with her $10,000 custom-ordered Naeem Khan clinging to her perfectly sculpted figure while smacking on a piece of gum is enough for me to send the dogs after her. And that’s putting it mildly.

So why do I find myself at these black tie affairs with gorgeous, perfectly sculpted women popping their gum? I mean, can’t someone tell these ladies that everyone else ordered the burger?

Antigua’s Curtain Bluff Resort

Paradise Found Guests return for royal treatment, elegance and serenity at Antigua’s Curtain Bluff Resort

_{Photos by Laurette M. Veres}

In the 1950s, Howard Hulford, an executive pilot for Texaco, flew into Antigua with a planeload of oilmen researching the feasibility of building gas stations there. As he flew around the beautiful, undeveloped island he noticed a small finger of rocky land jutting into the Atlantic Ocean, pounded by the unrestrained sea on the windward side and hugged by a small bay on its leeward side.

Hulford explored the land, falling in love with the climate and beautiful turquoise water surrounding the peninsula. He decided to build a home in this Caribbean paradise.

Antiguan officials who owned the peninsula had no interest in selling land for a private residence. Focused on growing tourism, they wanted to sell the land to resort developers. Not willing to give up the unique property, Hulford found investors, purchased the land and built Curtain Bluff Resort. The property opened in 1961 with 20 seaside units.

Curtain Bluff has grown to 70 rooms, each with private balconies and stunning beach views. The resort is still surrounded by turquoise water—rolling surf on one side of the peninsula and a calm, peaceful bay on the other.

The small, all-inclusive resort serves gourmet food, top shelf liquor and has live music and dancing every evening. Activities included in the basic room rate are snorkeling, deep sea fishing, scuba diving, exercise classes, tennis, squash and much more.

Curtain Bluff is a unique resort. Keys are not needed to enter guest rooms. Most of the trusted staff have been here for decades; many of the guests have been coming just as long. There is no reason to lock doors when everyone knows one another.

Howard and Chelle Hulford still live on property most of the year. They have long since hired a management company to run the resort, but attend most meals. Chelle flits from table to table making sure guests receive good service, and shares her stories of 40-plus years of Curtain Bluff adventures.

The Hulfords built their dream home on the highest point of the peninsula. The open two-story structure has stunning views of the Atlantic and Montserrat, a volcanic island on the horizon. A scenic location for weddings, parties and gatherings, the home can be rented for special occasions.

Few zoning and building restrictions were in place when the resort was built in the late 50s. Consequently, Curtain Bluff sits very close to the ocean on the Atlantic side of the peninsula. The surf rolls within 15 yards of the rooms. I’ve stayed in many places where you can hear waves, but here they thunder. It is extremely tranquil. Sleep is deep and peaceful. Waking up and getting out of bed takes commitment.

The rooms are designed to make good use of ocean breezes coming through the oceanside doors. Portals are cut into bathrooms and bedrooms, so air circulates through the entire unit before exiting windows in the back. Doors are ventilated to not block the breeze. Utilizing the breeze was a necessity—until two years ago Curtain Bluff had no air conditioning, so it would close in the heat of June and not reopen until fall. They still close during off-peak months (August through November) to perform property upgrades and maintenance.

Evenings at Curtain Bluff call for proper attire: long pants, dress shoes and collared shirts for men. Women will be comfortable in sun dresses and nice wraps to protect them from evening breezes. Howard sits at the front door offering suggestions to those who don’t meet the dress code. The resort gives impeccable service. When we finally reached Curtain Bluff, three hours late due to a plane mechanical problem, the assistant manager was sitting on a bench out front waiting for us. Worried we’d be hungry (we were), he had food prepared for us. Long after the kitchen closed, we were served pan seared mahi-mahi with all the fixings. Employees are overly attentive and expect nothing in return; tipping is strictly forbidden.

The rooms, pavilion, furniture and lobby are nice—comfortable and beachy, not exquisite. But the resort is exceptional in many ways: the azure water surrounding it, proximity to the crashing waves, tasty food, attentive service and lush landscaping. Curtain Bluff was recently voted the Best Caribbean Resort by the readers of Conde Nast Traveler. Room rates include food, drinks and activities; junior suites start at $825 per night double occupancy.

Essentials:
www.curtainbluff.com

---

I love your dress! And could you please pass the Bazooka?

Dear Ladies Who Lunch,

I love gum. Gum is playful, and I feel like a kid when I’m chewing it. In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m plowing through a pack of Dentyne Ice, Arctic Chill.

I started chewing gum a few years ago when I noticed hordes of thin, gorgeous Texas women chewing lots of it. That’s when it hit me. Gum is actually a meal replacement. That’s right. You heard it here first, folks. Gum is the best dieting tool around.

I mean, why else would all these fabulous Texas women be chewing gum all the time? Like, literally, all day long? It’s because gum is better than Atkins, and Weight Watchers, and those awful protein smoothie shakes that taste like cement.

Gum, I realized, is the key to being thin. Let me give you an example. Say you’ve just worked out for two hours. You’ve done the treadmill, the stair stepper and a round of weights. You are sweaty, fatigued and feeling pretty good about burning all those calories.

At this point, you can either go for a cheeseburger, fries and a “Diet” Coke (remember you’re trying to lose weight here) or opt for a nice, refreshing slice of gum. Ahhh, the joys of sliding a thin little wafer-sized slice of gum into your mouth. And then chewing on it for the next six to eight hours until the hunger pangs subside.

I typically opt for the cheeseburger. But these thin, gorgeous Texas broads—I have a sneaking suspicion they’re reaching into their purses for that dainty, sugar-free pack of Orbit.

And yet, despite the obvious merits of bubble gum (blowing big fat bubbles that get stuck on your face), there is one place you should never, ever, not in a million years, pop a slice of Big Red. Or Wrigley’s Spearmint. Or Freshen Up. It’s the Black Tie Affair.

Gowns and gum don’t mix, ladies. In fact, watching a Texas woman with her $10,000 custom-ordered Naeem Khan clinging to her perfectly sculpted figure while smacking on a piece of gum is enough for me to send the dogs after her. And that’s putting it mildly.

So why do I find myself at these black tie affairs with gorgeous, perfectly sculpted women popping their gum? I mean, can’t someone tell these ladies that everyone else ordered the burger?

The Freshman Speech What your guidance counselor should have told you

Each year, college graduation ceremonies are held on campuses throughout the nation, and departing students are given wise words of advice – the “Onward and upward!” sort of speech. But if they don’t know where to go by then, it’s too late.

They have survived—and hopefully learned from—all the mistakes they made as students and, during their time on campus, have been plotting how to get and keep a good job. So commencement speeches are like being handed a road map after arriving at the destination. A speech for beginners would be more useful; college freshmen need guidance, especially in Houston. So here are some sage thoughts on college life for freshmen entering Rice, TSU and UH.

GPA: It’s directly linked to your ability to stay awake in class.

Housing: If you are from Houston, move out of your home and into a campus dorm. That way your folks can rent out your bedroom for more than your dorm digs cost and they can turn a buck. You can still visit them on weekends while your mom does your laundry.

Finances: Your college tuition may exceed what you can make selling blood to St. Luke’s and stealing ducks from Hermann Park. Take out a college loan. You won’t have to pay it back; just do as your parents are doing with the federal budget: pass the cost on to your children. While a student, see if you can moonlight as a university president, especially at TSU. The pay is great and the perks are even better.

Keg parties (the highlight of college): If you tend to pass out after several beers, try not to do it while driving. If you throw up on a frat house sofa, don’t sleep on that sofa.

Football (the other highlight of college): The teams of all three Houston colleges—Rice, UH and TSU—have a smaller following than Ron Paul. You need to buy tickets, attend the games and watch your team get creamed. This teaches humility, which will come in handy after you graduate when the HR guy chuckles while reading your resume.

Your inability to win sporting events is well known. The entire nation recalls President John F. Kennedy’s famous line announcing our space program: “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.” What is not well known is that JFK uttered those words on Sept. 12, 1962, at a ceremony in Rice Stadium, and the previous lines in his speech were: “But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?”

Professors: Be nice to them. Some day they’ll make excellent employees.

Nicknames: You Rice students should not mind being called “nerds.” So are most Nobel Prize winners. UH freshmen, “Cougar High” is actually a compliment, like, “Man, I dig this school. I’m on a Cougar high.” TSU students, you still have to earn your handle. Start by wearing T-shirts reading, “TSU — The Harvard of Houston.”

There are several advantages to going to college in Houston: Science majors can study air pollution simply by opening their classroom windows; and I can’t think of better hands-on experience for studying DNA than at the HPD crime lab. Traffic engineering students, Houston’s subway system is world-class. Business majors, research the successful marketing of the Houston Oilers. It’s a textbook example. And remember, until relatively recently, Rice annually gave its coveted Enron Award for shrewd business tactics.

UH freshmen, your school has the famed Hilton School of Hotel Management, where tipping the profs is usually 20 percent. The school also teaches the Heimlich maneuver and the proper way to serve tomato salad with cheese, chives and salmonella. Rice students, if your campus health center can’t cure your acne, remember that you are just across the street from some of the world’s finest plastic surgeons.

It’s difficult to acquire an ivy-covered, tweedy college atmosphere in a big, modern, sophisticated city. Texas A&M, along with Sul Ross University and Rodeo Clown College, don’t have that problem. But Houston, while not a leafy village, has much to offer college students; otherwise we wouldn’t see so many kids from other schools here on weekends. (Maybe it’s so their moms can do their laundry.)

I can give you a few guarantees about your college career. You will change your major. A degree in psychology or philosophy sounds intriguing right now, but when it leads to a career as a shepherd or installing manhole covers you may regret your choice. It’s the same for English majors who will quickly learn to say, “Please pull up to the next window for your order.” I started college as a pre-med student because my father was a pediatrician. My choice didn’t click. The final blow came in biology lab when my fetal pig died and I was sued for malpractice. A young man I know majored in medieval history until, about half way through college, he learned there would be exactly one opening for a professor of medieval history in the entire nation the next fall. Today he’s a lawyer.

It will take some of you more than four years to get your degree. This is not the graduating Class of 2012.

I guarantee if you ever run for pubic office, someone will get a copy of your college transcript to use against you. You don’t need to make better grades, just hack in and alter your transcript.

Finally, I guarantee next August another freshman class will be plotting how to take your jobs. You have a one year head start. Get busy.

Honduran rain forest resort: Pico Bonito

Let it Rain
Honduran rain forest holds Central America’s hidden treasures
Immerse yourself in Honduran culture at the Lodge at Pico Bonito. Located on Honduras’s North Coast, near the town of La Ceiba, this eco hotel blends upscale amenities with wilderness and adventure in the heart of the rain forest.

I visited Pico Bonito with fellow journalists several months ago and found this national forest to be a true hidden treasure. Our driver took back roads through coffee and cacao plantations to the main lodge where we were served refreshing rum drinks in coconuts. As we registered, we noticed Catherine Zeta-Jones signed the guest book a few weeks before we did.

Twenty-two rooms are hidden amidst the lush greenery. Hardwood floors, tile showers, white down sheets, a robe and slippers await you as you tune out the rest of the world. Every cottage has a hammock—a perfect perch to enjoy soothing afternoon rains. Raised wooden walkways join the main lodge to the restaurant and conference buildings.

You can experience the lodge’s portion of this National Forest in many ways. From the Tropical Butterfly Farm to nature hikes, you can spend hours wandering the jungle and never leave the property.

Hikes are one of the main focuses, providing hours of exercise and exploration. The view from the observation tower shows how dense this rain forest is. Trained guides identify many of the more than 400 species of birds in the area. Hikers are rewarded with many sights, sounds and one-of-a-kind experiences. My favorite was a dip in crystal clear pools called Las Pilas, just downstream from a giant waterfall.

We were drenched upon return from one of our hikes and headed straight to the outdoor terrace where we met for dinner each evening. As we dried off, one of the chefs emerged with a hummingbird that had mistakenly flown into the kitchen. We each petted it and agreed we never thought we’d get this close with nature. We tried to capture the moment on film, but he was still only for a moment and then he was gone.

The food was a special treat. According to manager Jose Graugnard, most of the chefs are trained at the culinary institute in New York and each chef in residence has left his mark on the menu. They serve imported meats and fresh seafood and collect salad fixings from the small garden on property. A super special treat is the homemade pineapple jelly. Another is the cacao-encrusted filet, a nod to the nearby cacao plantation.

Since we were special guests of the hotel, we were invited to judge an art contest involving three local schools. The children had toured the grounds, seen the birds and hiked to the falls. Their final task: draw a picture of Pico Bonito. James, the event’s organizer, told us many of these children didn’t even have crayons before this competition. “We might be born into different circumstances, but we were born to the same earth, and it’s our job to learn about it, learn from it and preserve it,” he said.

We entered the conference area to find 48 drawings hung on the wall. Not only did these children have crayons, they knew how to use them. It was our job to cast the final votes. I tried to be as stealthy as possible since I knew most of the children in the room were personally attached to the displays. I could feel their eyes watching my every move.

Although we were scheduled for departure, we had to wait and find out which piece of artwork won. Believe it or not, there was a tie for third. Paintings were whisked around and re-arranged so that the finalists were easy to view. When all was said and done, the first, second and third place winners received 3,000 Limpura. That’s a month’s wages and quite a lot for a school-aged child. Watching the winners open their prize envelopes was priceless. One recipient opened the envelope and peered in with disbelief. A huge smile graced his face as he counted the money. It was really there.

And thus the rain forest keeps giving back. From the donations made to forest conservation to the children’s programs in local villages, Pico Bonito is part of a unique Honduran landscape. Now is the time to experience this mostly uncharted territory.

Essentials:
The Lodge at Pico Bonito, AP 710, La Ceiba, Atlantida, CP 31101, Honduras, Central America

Reservations: 1-888-428-0221 (Toll Free U.S./Canada) or Int’l Access # -1-312-345-3288 (Worldwide)