Get Rich Quick A quick guide to fast, easy money – maybe

My last attempt at getting rich quick did not work out. I thought the Jeff Make-a-Skilling Investment Fund would prosper. The SEC saw it differently. My tickets to the Houston Texans Super Bowl Victory Banquet were not moving. I tried to sell club memberships on KSEV for my Friends of Smog, only to find that its listener had been arrested as a Nazi war criminal. My idea of creating a Ukrainian accordion quartet to serenade romantic interludes bombed, as well.

So I visited my financial adviser. “Did you follow my recommendation and buy New Orleans Levee bonds?” he asked, as he pushed his grocery cart along the freeway median, stopping every so often to pick up an empty beer can.

“Yes,” I said, “and I lost it all.”

“Timing is everything,” he said. “You’ve got to know when to fold. Which reminds me, you did buy into the Texas Hold ‘Em craze, didn’t you?”

“No. You said to sell, because Texas Hold ‘Em was a brief fad, but you said to buy into the low carb diet craze. I did that, just before it went belly up.”

“At least the belly was flat,” he said while eyeing a bent Coors can. “Buy into restaurants. Everybody who is anybody is investing in restaurants.”

So I opened a Parisian bakery only to have it invaded by the German beer garden next door. I ran up a white flag. Still in a Gaulish mood, I launched a French Quarter café called the K-Jun and served beans and red rice. No one came. Only then did I learn the proper meal is red beans and rice. Making one last attempt, I filled the café ceiling-high with toxic water and empty promises. Zero. Sticking with a New Orleans theme, I changed the name to the Big Greasy. No luck.

“You’re on the right track,” my financial adviser said, while rolling a joint with his old Enron stock certificate. “You’ve got 200,000 new Houstonians from Louisiana, give or take a pirogue-load. Make them feel at home.”

I rented the Astrodome, surrounded it with heavily armed looters and served cold MREs. The operation went broke. My final thrust at corralling the Louisiana crowd was to open a FEMA restaurant. Place your order on Monday, and it will arrive at least by Saturday. One customer said my sub sandwich tasted like a soggy sandbag. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was.

My Tex-Mex restaurant, Borderline Food, was closed after the immigration agents raided my kitchen. They let my staff stay but deported the food.

Next, I tried a Good Cop, Bad Cop Doughnut shop with the slogan, “Take a truncheon to luncheon.” I was arrested for impersonating a cook.

“Think topical,” my financial adviser said between valet parking cars at Luby’s. That’s when I opened the Gas Station Café, complete with fake pumps, long lines and no service. But I went broke because I had to buy new menus every hour to list the higher prices. Still, that bankruptcy gave me an idea, and I started up the Señor Rita, a Tex-Mex restaurant catering to Houston’s returning hurricane evacuees. The place had no restrooms, all the lines were jammed except for those going the other way that were totally empty, and customers had to wait 10 hours for their food. It folded in 11 hours.

Then I got this great idea for the Hurricane Evacuation Plan Speedway, but the idea had already been copyrighted by Mayor Bill White. Staying topical, I opened the Bush Blame Game Pool Hall. The rules were that nobody lost and the more they screwed up, the more they were promoted. It was timely, but the Health Department accused me of creating a topical depression.

Next I held the grand opening for a home-cooking diner called Desperate Houseboys. The customers were desperate to leave. Then I tried the bar business. My saloon with a Roman theme, the Gin & Tunic, lasted XVII days. My English pub, the Fat Fergie, didn’t do much better. I tried to open an Irish-Taliban bar, the O’Sama bin Laden, but was strafed by the Air Force. My topless bar for Palestinians, the Gaza Strip, was leveled during a fight between Jewish settlers and the Israeli Army.

“I’m not getting rich quick,” I whined to my financial adviser, as he was peddling his Y2K Computer Protectors on the street corner.

“Politics is the key,? he said. “Politics is always hot.”

“Isn’t “politics” plural?” I asked.

“This is a one-party state,” he explained.

That’s when I opened my One Grandma’s Tough Steak House. I guess it was the wrong choice of words. The Rick Perry Beauty Parlor didn’t do much better. My Tom DeLay Charm School bombed, too.

As a last desperate effort, I checked with my financial adviser, who was re-filling the “For your protection” paper holders in the last stall. “I’ve tried everything,” I said, “but even if I do hit it big, how will I know when I’m rich?”

“Easy. When you stop paying taxes.”
“Thanks, Mr. Lay.” H

Italian Escape

by Joel Mathiason

Are you tired of those typically over-traveled seaside vacation destinations? Hawaii? Bahamas? Cancun? Consider one of Italy’s best-kept secrets, the Cinque Terre, for your next coastal collision.

Located along Italy’s western coast between Pisa and Genoa, the Cinque Terre offers 18 miles of clear blue water, cool sea breezes, water and land sports, which, I think, now includes shopping. But most of all, you’ll find peace and quiet amid the cadence of waves crashing on the rocky shoreline.

The Cinque Terre region (Italian for “five lands”) is primarily made up of five main villages. From north to south, they are Monterosso al Mare, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore. These ancient farming and fishing villages are built along the coastal hillsides in what is now the Cinque Terre National Park. The villages’ residents have spared no cliff space over the past few thousand years by building their homes upward, creating these picturesque ascending cliff-scrapers.

Getting here, you can drive to Monterosso al Mare or take the train to any one of the villages. On this trip, our destination is Riomaggiore, the southernmost village. Once in the Cinque Terre region, you’ll want to pick up a Cinque Terre Card. This park permit serves as a local train pass and allows you unlimited rail service between the villages. These invaluable passes are sold in single-day or various multi-day forms and allow you access to the park’s miles of hiking trails and its water ferry. So, don’t lose it.

There are a few quaint hotels and hostels in some of the villages; however, the majority of the accommodations here are small homes and condos. We stayed in a cozy seaside condo, complete with full bath and kitchen – and the word “cozy” takes on a whole new meaning here. Not only are most homes built on top of each other, they are literally built into the cliffs. Our bedroom came complete with a queen size and single bed, a wardrobe and a granite cliff façade! Our cave-like condo featured its own private veranda, overlooking the sapphire waters of the Mediterranean Sea. This brings us to an old Italian tradition, grab a glass of the region’s red vino, sit back and allow your stresses to slip into the sea.

Believe it or not, travel between these stair-stepping villages can be effortless. Simply validate your train pass (important tip for all Italian train travel), and hop on board a train that connects all five villages. You can zip from village to village in a matter of minutes by riding the rails. In the warmer, high-tourist season (roughly May through September), you may also ride the water ferry from village to village. The ferry will offer amazingly unique views of the ancient vineyards and olive groves.

On the other hand, if you have some comfortable shoes and a little more time, consider traveling by foot. From Riomagiorre, you and your lover can easily stroll north to Manarola along the Via dell’ Amore or “walk of love,” as if you actually needed the translation. However, hiking between the other villages requires a little more effort. Miles of hiking paths wind along these hillside farming terraces. Each turn delivers a well deserved payoff, in the form of one picture postcard moment after another. You’ll walk along the same centuries-old paths used by the olive and wine growers. However, these days, tourists are the trails’ top traveler.

The Cinque Terre has recently been designated a “World Heritage” site. Park officials have done a fantastic job keeping the Cinque Terre in pristine condition. “No littering” signs, caring residents and ecologically conscience visitors have also played a large part. So, please allow me to borrow a phrase from our Lone Star State, “Don’t mess with the Cinque Terre.”

Locals we met along the way, like Monterroso al Mare café shop owner, Giovanni, were very friendly. Don’t be surprised if you hear George Strait blaring away while he’s on duty. This Texan wannabe claims to own every album the artist has released. But he’s never seen him in concert. Why? Giovanni says he’s always had to work in this “oceanfront property” during Strait’s summer Italian tours.

He offers this translation tip for Americans. Instead of ordering a “cup of coffee,” ask for a “café latte.” This substitute offers very strong coffee with milk, to help take a bit of the edge off.

Just outside Giovanni’s shop, on the beach, we decided to sit down with our usual snack of bruschetta and cheese. Entertaining us were some kids playing a pick-up game of football. This school group was here on a field trip from a neighboring inland town. You don’t need to speak their language to realize Italian kids are no different than the kids in America. Here, the Italian boys also try very hard to impress the girls by showing off and goofing around. And the Italian girls, well, they just sit back, look good, and laugh at the boys. Some things are just universal.

As the sun sets and your appetite is whet, venture into any of the villages to catch some more local flavor. Riomaggiore has several restaurants, but like the revisiting waves along the shore, we found ourselves consistently crashing the dining room of the same bruschetteria. We enjoyed the tomato and mushroom pie and the famed Italian panini.

Be sure to strike up a conversation with the folks at the next table. It’s here that all the best travel secrets are shared. You might even learn a few valuable Italian phrases to help get you through your vacation. And here’s another hint, even though the tips are usually included in the price of your meal, over-tip your waiters and waitresses. They seem to remember you better on the next visit (and their English improves as well). Also, be sure to check the restaurants’ closing times while planning out your daily itinerary. Some are closed on random days and random hours.

Remember that beach-going Italians call the unspoiled Cinque Terre “home” in those popular, higher priced, warm summer months. Just to be safe, book a room several months in advance and double-check that reservation a week or two out from your vacation. We visited in March and felt like we had the Cinque Terre to ourselves. Those cooler temperatures (Highs: 65-70 degrees) were perfect for all the walking, hiking and stair climbing we did. Finally, make sure you stay at least two nights. You’ll need one full day to appreciate this truly treasured Italian time capsule.

For more information on the Cinque Terre region, visit www.cinqueterreonline.com.

Farrah

Recently, when we talked, she had just finished a conversation with Joe Jamail, the Houston superstar attorney, who was in Colorado. Her next call was to Washington, concerning copyrights; on her list of calls to make was to an FBI agent in New York and to another Houston attorney, Kent Shaffer. She’s like a corporation, and it takes a lot of work to keep it going. She was anxious to fit in a workout sometime during the day that keeps her body in the “16-year-old” range. She’s been the blonde for the past 30 years, the blonde with the perennial good hair day, the blonde that all would-be blondes emulate and the blonde that everybody in the world recognizes. She’s Farrah Fawcett.

And, why do I liken her to a corporation? We think of her as lolling around in the beautiful club room after a tennis match or shopping on Rodeo Drive, lunching in the Polo Lounge, reading scripts, sipping green tea or champagne, or over at Jose’s having the hair done. Forget it! We’ve all heard the “blonde joke” stories, but this particular blonde has an astronomical IQ and the business savvy of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

Her phones never stop. I told her I thought that was good news. But, when you consider that she has to sit through dozens of calls to find the ones of any substance, it gets to be a full-time job. She’s without an assistant right now and pretty overwhelmed.

She has been through an amazingly challenging time the last few years, starting with an earthquake that devastated the house she lived in for 26 years. Wilt Chamberlain’s home, next door, was not damaged, but she had to move out. Even though it’s been a while now, she still has to dig through boxes. She’s also trying to buy a house, but admits she doesn’t quite know how to do it.

I visited the home Farrah refers to with my sons and a contingent of Houston friends for a “Texans in Hollywood” party some years back. What a magnificent home it was – on the top of Mulholland Drive, with racquetball and tennis courts, a gym and swimming pool. I especially loved all her framed magazine covers that lined a breakfast nook and stretched the length of an adjoining hall. All of those photos are still in boxes.

When Farrah’s sister, Diane, developed lung cancer, doctors gave her three months to live. Diane lived for three years, and Farrah felt blessed to be able to sit with her at M.D. Anderson on many visits. Normally, Farrah always has a book, charcoal or pastel pencils with her; but on one particular day, sitting in the waiting room while Diane received her treatment, she had nothing. It was here that she drew her favorite piece of art, what she refers to as a “magical accident” – an orchid, on the back of a Starbucks napkin – and gave it to her sister. When Diane died, it was given back to Farrah, and she treasures it to this day.

As difficult and devastating as it was for Farrah to lose her sister, nothing prepared her for the loss of her mother, Pauline Fawcett, in March. She was Farrah’s best friend, her confidant, her mentor. Farrah describes her mom as delicate, sweet, a real lady and very strong – she always spoke her opinion and often shocked Farrah’s friends. Farrah credits her mother with teaching her to look for and find the good in people. She adds that her mom was somewhat naïve.

It was David Mirisch, a publicist in Los Angeles, who persisted in calling Farrah at the University of Texas for three years before she, purely as an adventure, agreed to go out – “probably for the summer.” Farrah was in her junior year and had majored in microbiology, until she switched to become an art major. Put under contract just weeks after arriving, Farrah was a working actress almost immediately.

Farrah was always very happy and proud to take her parents with her on many amazing trips, such as to England to meet Prince Charles and to meet dignitaries from around the world. Farrah delights in the fact that her parents were always themselves, down-to-earth and real. She recalled that when they met Prince Charles, her dad called him “Chuck.”

While Farrah was born in Corpus Christi, the family moved to Houston when she was a junior at UT. Reflecting that she grew up in a very structured and disciplined environment, she is grateful to her parents for providing her the fundamental values that have served her so well throughout her lifetime. Farrah says her parents taught her to be strong, honest and courageous.

She says that her son, Redmond, would have been more comfortable if they lived in a small apartment. Describing him as a wonderful and talented young man, a great musician and song writer, he reminds her of herself and her dad. “My No.1 goal in life is to love, support and be there for my son. I’m very proud of him. He understands all this attention, when it is work related, but is uncomfortable and very protective when we are just doing life things, like normal people. But, of course, he’s finally realized, it’s not and may never be ‘normal.'” Farrah is well aware that it has not been easy for Redmond to have his mother out there in the public eye.

It was in the late 1960s when that “eye” trained on Farrah, as she began to appear in guest-starring roles in shows such as “I Dream of Jeannie,” “The Flying Nun” and “The Partridge Family.” Her first movie role was in 1969’s “Myra Breckenridge.” She married in 1974. Soon, she posed in a red bathing suit for a poster that sold an astonishing 12 million-plus copies.

In 1976, producers Aaron Spelling and Leonard Goldberg tapped Farrah to star in “Charlie’s Angels,” which quickly became a mega hit show; but Farrah became a phenomenon – a household name in the world. She earned accolades as one of the nation’s favorite female performers – and a People’s Choice Award – for the “Charlie’s Angels” debut. There were “all things Farrah” in marketing items: T-shirts, cups, puzzles, dolls, etcetera. After the first season wrapped, Farrah shocked everyone by leaving the series because of a disagreement with producers over merchandising revenues. They offered Farrah 2.5 percent on merchandising materials when she was already receiving 10 percent from her poster. She stood firm, wanting the 10 percent she perceived to be fair. Producers filed a lawsuit, and after much negotiation, she agreed to return to the series in guest spots for the next two years. During that time, she appeared in three feature films: “Somebody Killed Her Husband,” “Sunburn? and “Saturn 3.”

Divorced in 1980, she began to date actor Ryan O’Neal. It was in 1985 that their son Redmond was born. When they separated in 1997, the couple shared custody of their son, as well as a loving and supportive friendship that has endured to this day.

After consciously turning down “beauty” roles for a year, she finally accepted and won critical acclaim for “Murder in Texas,” based on Tommy Thompson’s book, “Blood and Money.”

One of her boldest moves, and one that required her tough, can-do Texas spirit operating at peak performance, came when Farrah decided to take on the challenging and controversial role of a vengeful rape victim in the Broadway production of “Extremities.” Before making the decision, she called home to talk to her parents. Her agent, Sue Mengers, told her that if she failed in New York, “It’s over.”

Her dad reiterated something he had taught her years before, saying, “It’s not how far you fall, but how quickly you bounce.” Believing that she must never be led by fear and that she must always look for a challenge to change, Farrah jumped headlong into “Extremities.” It became the defining moment in her career, with Broadway critics raving about her performance.

Farrah followed this triumph with a starring role in the miniseries, “Small Sacrifices,” playing Diane Downs, for which she received both Emmy and Golden Globe Award nominations.

Farrah had worked for almost three years to get “The Burning Bed” produced, but it was only after her success in “Extremities” that her persistence paid off. When the made-for-television movie aired starring Farrah as Francine Hughes, a battered wife who murders her husband out of self-defense, it garnered rave reviews and an unprecedented 42 share – a record held for over a decade. “The Burning Bed” was the first television movie to offer victims of domestic abuse help through a nationwide 1 (800) number.

Farrah’s next project was the film version of “Extremities.” Thereafter, Farrah’s acting ability was never questioned. Her pure acting talent had left the skeptics and cynics buried in the dust of the vast critical graveyard.

She starred as Barbara Hutton in the miniseries “Poor Little Rich Girl” and was honored with a Golden Globe nomination. She won the Cable Ace Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Margaret Bourke-White in the telefilm “The Margaret Bourke-White Story,” based on the life of the legendary LIFE photographer.

In 1978, Playboy magazine ran an issue with Farrah on the cover and inside totally clothed – no nudity. In 1997, she succumbed to the many requests for her to pose in a nude Playboy pictorial, which sold more than four million copies, making it the biggest issue for the ’90s.

Her starring role with Robert Duvall in “The Apostle” earned her a nomination as best actress at the Independent Spirit Awards. It also earned her the deep respect of Robert Duvall, one of the world’s finest actors. He has said of Farrah: “Watching Farrah Fawcett act is like eating caviar.” During the time she worked on the feature film, “Dr. T and The Women,” famed director Robert Altman had this to say to her: “I hired you. Now, do what you do!” Altman paid Farrah the ultimate compliment by allowing her the freedom to try anything.

When David Kelly asked her to do a role on “Ally McBeal,” she immediately agreed because she knew his fine reputation as a writer and the quality of his shows. She felt the same when David Hollander asked her to guest star in the acclaimed CBS drama “The Guardian;” and she was anxious to work with fellow Texan, Dabney Coleman. Farrah received a 2003 Emmy nomination for Best Supporting Actress in a Guest Role.

Artist Keith Edmier grew up in the ’70s, just as Farrah was becoming the symbol of the ideal American woman. Knowing of Farrah’s talent as an artist, his dream was to produce an exhibit featuring Farrah. She agreed on the condition that it would be a collaborative project with a portrait of Keith, as well. Ultimately, they produced what would be the centerpiece of an exhibit: nude sculptures the artists made of each other. Both life-size, a reclining Farrah is done in white marble, a standing Keith Edmier in bronze. The first exhibit was presented at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, and because of the great success of the showing, moved to the Warhol Museum. Entitled “Keith Edmier and Farrah Fawcett 2000,” the exhibit includes six sculptures, many photographs, drawings and a book by Rizzoli. Farrah has the distinction of being the only actor to have an exhibition at LACMA, and the exhibit holds the record for most attendance.

Farrah mentioned that in recent months there was a very unflattering story written about her in The National Enquirer. Her agent, who is also her friend, called and advised her not to read it to avoid being upset and stressed. Farrah called her dad and told him that she had just gone through the hardest time of her life, losing her mom; and, that if something like a magazine article could get her down, shame on her.

Farrah always falls back on that good common sense philosophy she learned at home. She realizes that in life, the pendulum swings and remembers her dad saying, “They sanctify you to vilify you.” Actually, Farrah has learned that she can’t control any of it and that she must never get hung up on it. You can hear the sadness in her voice when she speaks of people in her profession who don’t have family and balance in their lives, who so easily find themselves turning to drugs and sinking into deep depression.

In 2003, Farrah was inducted into the Texas Film Hall of Fame for her legendary status on screen and off.

Her latest project, the seven-week reality series from TV Land, “Chasing Farrah,” aired in March and April. She agreed to do the project after asking for and getting assurances that the shows would be real – no editing, no cutting, slicing, clipping, no manipulating.

Two reasons prompted her decision to star in a reality series. As strange as it may seem, she doesn’t have a lot of photos and video of her family and thought this would produce a great treasury of film to leave for her son and his children. She wanted to give a sense of who she is, who her parents are, where they came from, their integrity and strength, their unconditional love for her and their “say what you mean, mean what you say” honesty.

Secondly, she thought it might dispel some myths about her. Often she’s had people in her employ represent her to be difficult or a prima donna, when in fact she’s quite easy going and balanced, with a good sense of humor she attributes to her parents. “Chasing Farrah” was her opportunity to show herself exactly like she is, undiluted and never “unprofessional or bitchy,” like some might like to infer. Obviously, representatives are supposed to encourage and support their clients. In her case, it doesn’t always happen.

And what did I learn from the series? Farrah Fawcett is an icon. There is no place in the world where she can go that she is not followed and big crowds appear. Whether the paparazzi or adoring or curious fans, they clamor for anything “Farrah.” Many have tattoos of her on their person; many have whole rooms or stores of her memorabilia.

“Chasing Farrah” gave the TV Land network a 60 percent increase in ratings and put them on the map. The male demographic, 18-48, went up 100 percent; and women increased 30-40 percent. Reviews were outstanding, with the New York Daily News giving it 3 1/2 stars and the comment “It’s really good.” The Newark Star Ledger wrote “An unexpected sweet, involving series.” US Magazine: “Showing a sweet and vulnerable side of Farrah.” And, STAR: “Somehow you can’t look away.” With “Chasing Farrah” concluded, I asked about her next project. After each project is completed, she likes to pull back, take a look at her choices and see what she wants to do next. That’s where she is now. TV Land will re-run “Chasing Farrah” Nov. 28 through Dec. 5.

Jay Bernstein, often called “Starmaker,” is the manager/producer/public relations executive who has worked with some of the biggest names in Hollywood, starting with the Rat Pack. It was he who was Farrah’s manager at the start of her career, and they have remained good friends throughout the years. Now, back in her professional life, I asked if he has a title. “Not really. I’m working with Farrah in every area. No need for a title.”

He continues, “Farrah is a living legend. When she came upon the scene, she changed the culture of the country. She gave people someone to believe in, someone to root for. She became the symbol of the all-American woman – Women wanted to be her; they wanted their daughters to emulate her; and men wanted to marry her. She became a role model without really realizing it. For 30 years, Farrah Fawcett has been perfect. Being thought of as a “living legend” is not an easy position to be in. But, she has a strength that is rare. And, of course, it comes from her mother and father, who had been married 67 years when Pauline passed away. Farrah is my best friend, and I have more admiration for her than for anyone in the world.”

Actively involved in charity work with the Cancer Society, Farrah also has served as a board member of the National Advisory Council for The National Domestic Violence Hot Line, benefiting the victims of domestic violence.

During one of our conversations, she was rushing to make a plane for New York. What was she taking with her? A poem she wrote a long time ago titled “In Search of an Hour.” It starts: “When fame condescendingly claims you with its seductive tentacled touch, it demands nothing in return … Just everything.”

Two of her favorite thoughts are: “Every day is a good day. Just some days are better.” And, one that she signed in the Rizzoli art book I just received from her: “Life is sweetened by risk.” Farrah Fawcett, living legend, live on, live long, live well. We love you.

Italian Escape

Are you tired of those typically over-traveled seaside vacation destinations? Hawaii? Bahamas? Cancun? Consider one of Italy’s best-kept secrets, the Cinque Terre, for your next coastal collision.

Located along Italy’s western coast between Pisa and Genoa, the Cinque Terre offers 18 miles of clear blue water, cool sea breezes, water and land sports, which, I think, now includes shopping. But most of all, you’ll find peace and quiet amid the cadence of waves crashing on the rocky shoreline.

The Cinque Terre region (Italian for “five lands”) is primarily made up of five main villages. From north to south, they are Monterosso al Mare, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore. These ancient farming and fishing villages are built along the coastal hillsides in what is now the Cinque Terre National Park. The villages’ residents have spared no cliff space over the past few thousand years by building their homes upward, creating these picturesque ascending cliff-scrapers.

Getting here, you can drive to Monterosso al Mare or take the train to any one of the villages, as we did. On this trip, our destination is Riomaggiore, the southernmost village. Once in the Cinque Terre region, you’ll want to pick up a Cinque Terre Card. This park permit serves as a local train pass and allows you unlimited rail service between the villages. These invaluable passes are sold in single-day or various multi-day forms and allow you access to the park’s miles of hiking trails and its water ferry. So, don’t lose it.

There are a few quaint hotels and hostels in some of the villages; however, the majority of the accommodations here are small homes and condos. We stayed in a cozy seaside condo, complete with full bath and kitchen – and the word “cozy” takes on a whole new meaning here. Not only are most homes built on top of each other, they are literally built into the cliffs. Our bedroom came complete with a queen size and single bed, a wardrobe and a granite cliff façade! Our cave-like condo featured its own private veranda, overlooking the sapphire waters of the Mediterranean Sea. This brings us to an old Italian tradition, grab a glass of the region’s red vino, sit back and allow your stresses to slip into the sea.

Believe it or not, travel between these stair-stepping villages can be effortless. Simply validate your train pass (important tip for all Italian train travel), and hop on board a train that connects all five villages. You can zip from village to village in a matter of minutes by riding the rails. In the warmer, high-tourist season (roughly May through September), you may also ride the water ferry from village to village. The ferry will offer amazingly unique views of the ancient vineyards and olive groves.

On the other hand, if you have some comfortable shoes and a little more time, consider traveling by foot. From Riomagiorre, you and your lover can easily stroll north to Manarola along the Via dell’ Amore or “walk of love,” as if you actually needed the translation. However, hiking between the other villages requires a little more effort. Miles of hiking paths wind along these hillside farming terraces. Each turn delivers a well deserved payoff, in the form of one picture postcard moment after another. You’ll walk along the same centuries-old paths used by the olive and wine growers. However, these days, tourists are the trails’ top traveler.

The Cinque Terre has recently been designated a “World Heritage” site. Park officials have done a fantastic job keeping the Cinque Terre in pristine condition. “No littering” signs, caring residents and ecologically conscience visitors have also played a large part. So, please allow me to borrow a phrase from our Lone Star State, “Don’t mess with the Cinque Terre.”

Locals we met along the way, like Monterroso al Mare café shop owner, Giovanni, were very friendly. Don’t be surprised if you hear George Strait blaring away while he’s on duty. This Texan wannabe claims to own every album the artist has released. But he’s never seen him in concert. Why? Giovanni says he’s always had to work in this “oceanfront property” during Strait’s summer Italian tours.

He offers this translation tip for Americans. Instead of ordering a “cup of coffee,” ask for a “café latte.” This substitute offers very strong coffee with milk, to help take a bit of the edge off.

Just outside Giovanni’s shop, on the beach, we decided to sit down with our usual snack of bruschetta and cheese. Entertaining us were some kids playing a pick-up game of football. This school group was here on a field trip from a neighboring inland town. You don’t need to speak their language to realize Italian kids are no different than the kids in America. Here, the Italian boys also try very hard to impress the girls by showing off and goofing around. And the Italian girls, well, they just sit back, look good, and laugh at the boys. Some things are just universal.

As the sun sets and your appetite is whet, venture into any of the villages to catch some more local flavor. Riomaggiore has several restaurants, but like the revisiting waves along the shore, we found ourselves consistently crashing the dining room of the same bruschetteria. I enjoyed the tomato and mushroom pie while my wife, Leah, indulged in the famed Italian panini.

Be sure to strike up a conversation with the folks at the next table. It’s here that all the best travel secrets are shared. You might even learn a few valuable Italian phrases to help get you through your vacation. And here’s another hint, even though the tips are usually included in the price of your meal, over-tip your waiters and waitresses. They seem to remember you better on the next visit (and their English improves as well). Also, be sure to check the restaurants’ closing times while planning out your daily itinerary. Some are closed on random days and random hours.

Remember that beach-going Italians call the unspoiled Cinque Terre “home” in those popular, higher priced, warm summer months. Just to be safe, book a room several months in advance and double-check that reservation a week or two out from your vacation. My wife found ours on the internet. We visited in March and felt like we had the Cinque Terre to ourselves. Those cooler temperatures (Highs: 65-70 degrees) were perfect for all the walking, hiking and stair climbing we did. Finally, make sure you stay at least two nights. You’ll need one full day to appreciate this truly treasured Italian time capsule.

For more information on the Cinque Terre region, visit www.cinqueterreonline.com.

Wish Granted

Although 7-year-old Armani Artis is battling stage four neuroblastoma (a rare cancer of the nervous system), she is charming, upbeat and lives every day to the fullest. “She is who gets me through this,” says Armani’s mother, Tomika. “Her days are good days, and we’re blessed. Armani treats it like a common cold.” Tomika’s goal is to help Armani maintain the normal life of a young girl, complete with fantasies and dreams, with as little worry about her cancer as possible.

When the Make-A-Wish Foundation of the Texas Gulf Coast asked Armani what her ultimate wish was, she knew exactly what she wanted: to dance with John Travolta. What could be greater than moving around the dance floor with a movie legend? Travolta is a prolific actor and entertainer, starring in such blockbusters as “Grease,” “Look Who’s Talking,” “Get Shorty” and Armani’s favorite, “Saturday Night Fever.” Not to mention, he is an excellent dancer. Tomika was surprised by her daughter’s request, thinking she would wish for a Disney cruise. Armani simply explains, “Because I like him, and he used to make me feel better when I was sick.”

It didn’t take long for the Make-A-Wish Foundation to arrange a day, and a dance, with the superstar. Armani, her mother and her grandmother were whisked away to Clear Water Beach, Fla. for the electrifying day. From the moment they arrived, they got the movie star treatment, complete with a stay in a beautiful luxury hotel. Armani and her grandmother were even picked up by a limousine to drive them to her date with the Urban Cowboy.

Their hour with Travolta was nothing short of pure bliss. As soon as Travolta caught Armani’s eye, she ran up and gave him the biggest hug she could. Her eyes were sparkling with joy, and her giddiness filled the room. “When she gets excited, she gets the giggles,” says Armani’s grandmother, “She had the giggles to no end. She was so happy.”

Armani and John talked up a storm and danced the hour away. They got down to the Black Eyed Peas; at one point he picked her up to tango just like he did with Uma Thurman in “Pulp Fiction.” Travolta shared that he enjoys walking barefoot on the beach, especially when the sun rises and sets. He asked Armani about her family and her favorite things – including the movies that she likes. They talked about his family’s special tradition – he and his children create handmade presents for each other. Every day that he is home, they exchange their gifts in a “mini-Christmas” celebration.

“He told me about his daughters and Oprah,” says the little girl. “I love Oprah.” Travolta talked to Armani about his close relationship with Oprah Winfrey, the famed talk show host, and about the tea set he gave to her for her 50th birthday. He wanted to get her something special, and remembered how much his mother had treasured partaking in afternoon tea – so, he shared the sentiment with Oprah.

Armani’s grandmother was thrilled to see the fun Armani and Travolta were having together. “He is a wonderful person – nice, polite, soft spoken.” Armani later returned to her mother exclaiming, “Mom! That was the best hour of my life!”

That night, Armani and her family went to dinner to celebrate the end of a very special day. After dinner, the restaurant staff presented Armani with a special gift – a beautiful tea set of her own. Now, Armani feels just as special as Oprah and Mrs. Travolta.

Since returning to Houston, Armani continues to brighten everyone’s day with her gleaming smile and contagious giggle. She has taken up Travolta’s custom of making gifts for those she loves and gives her presents to other children in the hospital. For Armani, every day is holiday worthy of a celebration.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation is a non-profit organization that grants the wishes of children who, like Armani, are diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. Their mission is to encourage joy and bring hope to the lives of these brave children and their families. For more information about this charity, visit www.wish.org.

Celebrate the Holidays

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston has a unique American decorative arts “wing,” in that it is actually a house. Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens houses the art collection donated by Ima Hogg. You won’t want to miss the beautiful gardens on this 14-acre estate. Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens is a must-see for all Houstonians.

History
Bayou Bend was originally Houston philanthropist Ima Hogg’s estate. Hogg is best known for her American decorative arts collection, but was also very involved in Bayou Bend’s architecture and gardens. Prominent architect John F. Staub designed the home, which was built between 1927 and 1928, for Hogg and her brothers. She intended the gardens to be used as outdoor rooms for entertaining, rather than just gardens to be viewed from the house.

She donated Bayou Bend and her art collection to the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston in 1957 with the intention of it becoming a museum. Ima Hogg continued to add to the collection until her death in 1975. She hoped that “Bayou Bend may serve as a bridge to bring us closer to the heart of an American heritage which unites us.” The American decorative arts are displayed in 28 period room settings at Bayou Bend.

Ultimate entertainment
From Nov. 17-Jan. 1, Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens will hold their annual Yuletide celebration in which the home and gardens are lavishly decorated for the holidays. This year’s celebration, appropriately dubbed That’s Entertaining!, will feature eight historical scenes of early American celebrations from the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries, ranging from formal dinners to intimate family gatherings.

Tours
There are many touring options at Bayou Bend. The holiday favorite is the Candlelight Open House nights, Nov. 25, Dec. 2 and 9, which allow visitors to experience Bayou Bend by soft candlelight. Amid period music, guests listen to the docents explain the holiday settings and customs of the times seen throughout the first floor of the house. Another option is the Audio Tour, in which visitors may go on self-guided tours of the entire house with the audio and written descriptions of the rooms on the first floor.

On Yuletide Family Day, guests can enjoy the tour of the Yuletide rooms of the first floor and the holiday performances outside. Visitors are also invited to create one-of-a-kind holiday decorations. (Family Day is free!)

Complete tours of the downstairs and upstairs rooms are also available. They are led by docents and include both the Yuletide rooms and the decorative arts that are on view throughout the year. Reservations are required for this tour.

When to go
Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens is beautiful year-round! The holiday season offers a unique look at Bayou Bend, as well as American History. Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens, 1 Wilcott St., (713) 639-7750, www.mfah.org/bayoubend H

Christian Community Service Center

Many Houstonians don’t know where to turn when they find themselves in dire straits – lacking food, clothing and money. In their time of desperation, many of them turn to the Christian Community Service Center.

The center is a coalition of 38 Houston-area churches joined together to form a community-based non-profit organization with more than 1,900 volunteers serving more than 25,000 Houstonians. As a member of the Better Business Bureau, the center received an Honorable Mention in a new non-profit organization category in 2001, was the outstanding small Houston-area non-profit organization in 2003 and was awarded the Pinnacle Award for “superior commitment to ethics, overall excellence and quality in the workplace” in 2005.

Fast response
Helping neighbors get on their feet, Emergency Services provides a three-day supply of food, clothing and limited financial assistance to disadvantaged Houstonians. A resource book is maintained to ensure clients are referred to agencies that provide long-term assistance. Emergency Services aided 19,051 people last year; 51 percent of them were children. For those assisted by Emergency Services, the aid provided is a godsend.

Office politics
For the unemployed and underemployed, finding a job can be a frustrating process. The CCSC’s JobNet program alleviates some of this frustration by providing a computer learning center, business periodicals and use of office equipment and supplies. Jobseekers also find computer training, career/resume consulting, mock interviews and job search coaches at JobNet. Last year, 663 unemployed and underemployed clients were assisted by JobNet, and 54 percent of their clients found employment.

Emerging entrepreneurs
For needy Houstonians with an entrepreneurial spirit, the Martha’s Way program provides training to prepare participants to run an independent housekeeping business. This program provides the education, hands-on training and support needed to get started. With technical and business skills training available, graduates are prepared to effectively operate their own business. With help from the Martha’s Way program, 60 clients became small business owners in the field of domestic housekeeping last year.

Back to class
Houston children faced with starting school without basic school supplies and clothing turn to the CCSC Back to School program. Each participating child receives a voucher for a new school uniform, shoes, gently worn clothing and school supplies. The registration and distribution process takes two days so that qualifying children get the supplies they need quickly. The Back to School program assisted more than 4,000 children this past August to ensure their school year started off on the right foot.

Happy holidays
Many disadvantaged children’s Christmas dreams are turned into reality through the Jingle Bell Express Program. This program enables parents to “shop” the Jingle Bell Express “store” and choose one or two toys for each child, and they also receive books, including a Bible. The family is then given food for a real holiday meal. This program currently provides Christmas cheer to more than 3,000 children from more than 900 families.

Crystal clear
Due to financial constraints, many underprivileged children are unable to get vision screening, but the Louise J. Moran Vision Care Program is trying to change that by offering eye screenings at many HISD elementary school campuses for qualifying children. Follow-up exams are provided by the University of Houston’s University Eye Institute. Last year, 105 children received professional eye exams, and 94 students received new prescription eyeglasses. Several students had scratched corneas and other severe conditions that could have led to partial or complete blindness if not discovered.

Shop with a cause
At the Sunshine Resale Shop, the CCSC is able to raise funds to help those in need and also provide quality clothing and household items for families on a limited income. Volunteers sort, price and sell donated items, which accounted for 27 percent of the 2004 revenue. The Sunshine Resale Shop is a wonderful way for the CCSC to raise funds and help the community at the same time.

Raising funds
The Christian Community Service Center appreciates all donations and offers various ways of giving. Monetary and clothing donations are always appreciated (especially larger sizes!). You may also help the CCSC by shopping at Kroger or Randalls with a Share Card available at the CCSC. Additionally, there are many volunteer opportunities available for individuals and groups. H

Ultimate Eyes

The H Texas Ultimate Makeover continues with the doctors at the Diagnostic Eye Center, who have two offices, one in the Greenway Plaza area and one in the museum district. Our contestant Kathy was thrilled that an eye component had been added to the Ultimate Makeover, because, just recently, she’d noticed more difficulty seeing at night.

Although Lasik surgery is a big part of Diagnostic Eye Center’s founder Marc Sanders’ practice, he doesn’t think Kathy is a good candidate. Her eye sight is 20/30, which is good enough to see most things. Instead, he suggests a full eye exam and a set of contacts. Kathy is relieved to hear that Dr. Sanders says her eyesight isn’t too bad and admits she hasn’t had her eyes checked since she was 12. “Most people are like Kathy,” says Dr. Sanders. “They haven’t had their eyes checked since they were in school. Once you are out of school, you should have your eyes checked every five years; and if you have glasses, every year.”

A complete eye exam involves looking at the retina. “There can be eye problems that you’re not even aware of,” explains Dr. Sanders. A look at the retina can give insight into a patient’s general health – sometimes diabetes or high blood pressure can be detected. Also, due to the amount of computer work we do today, Dr. Sanders looks for signs of computer vision syndrome.

Dr. Sanders explains that the shape of the eye isn’t perfectly round; it curves more in one direction. Everyone’s eyes do this, but when it reaches a certain level, it needs to be corrected. Kathy has a slight astigmatism that causes her eyes to dilate and let in more light. Contacts can correct this. Overall, Dr. Sanders thinks Kathy’s eyes look great.

Now, it’s time for Dr. Aric Welton to fit Kathy for contact lenses. He briefly explains that soft lenses are more comfortable, and hard lenses offer enhanced clarity. He recommends soft lenses for Kathy. Once fitted with the lenses, he checks her vision once more to make sure the prescription is exactly correct. Since contact lenses are closer to the eye than glasses, this can affect the prescription slightly. You can actually leave the office with contact lenses the day you are fitted for them – unless you’re like Kathy, and you request a special color. She tries several shades until she finds a shade of green that really enhances her eye color. “Why not make a dramatic change?” asks Kathy.

Dr. Welton very patiently teaches Kathy how to put her contacts on. “When they first go in, it feels like you have an eyelash in your eye,” he says. Adding that the eyes will water, and things will be blurry, but it clears up quickly.

With her new lenses, Kathy sees better at night, and there is less glare while driving. And it’s fun to have a new eye color! H