Pistol Packing Drivers Houstonians use caution when honking their horns

THE INTERSECTION – Look at that idiot. He (or she, with those heavily tinted car windows, it’s hard to tell the driver’s gender or even the species) is running a red light. Where is a cop? Or even a camera, so the lawbreaker could get an admonishing note from the HPD? So I honk and think of Carol Harris.

My noise-making is unusual because we don’t actually hear much honking around Houston, certainly not like in New York City where every intersection is an official Taxi Cab Honking Zone, often accompanied by gestures and shouts in Bangladeshi and/or Swahili. No, in Houston we rarely hear Gabriel or anyone else blowing his horn. There is a simple reason for this: fear. A honk in Houston is a call to arms, a request to play target, a road to rage. How many times have we read in the newspapers about gunfire being exchanged by two motorists after one driver, quite within his or her God-given powers, gets cut off and answers the challenge with a blast from an AK-47? It’s the Texas way. I often think our state motto should be: “Shoot Friendly” or “One Car, One Gun.”

To be fair, former DA Johnny Holmes once estimated that only one out of every three motorists in Houston was armed, but that was before the State Legislature, in its wisdom, passed the Concealed Weapons Act. It is based on our Second Amendment right to keep and bear bazookas. So today, the ratio for handguns-to-glove-compartments is, indeed, probably one to one.

There are many reasons Houston drivers defend themselves from marauding motorists. For example, if you leave a little space between your vehicle and the car in front so you won’t rear-end it in case of a quick stop, you can be guaranteed that another car will jam in between you two, thus making you drop back even farther. Also, there are cases of blatant use of turn signals. In Houston, using your turn indicator is frowned upon.

More grounds for anger mismanagement are those phone users who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time, thus they can’t drive and talk simultaneously. These drivers are easy to spot: They have a long black phone cord running out their trunk. But the worst motorists on our roads, the ones we see speeding, weaving, driving and endangering everyone else, are called “wrecker drivers.”

There are certain vehicles to avoid challenging. First are those whose hood ornaments are a sniper-scope with cross hairs. The same goes for pickup trucks with tail-gunners. We’ve all seen those bumper stickers reading: “Keep honking, I’m re-loading.” Others to watch for are: “I’d Rather Be Knee-Capping” and “Ask Me About My Parole.”

On the other hand, there is one occasion which I now think qualifies as justifiable honking: the red-light runners. They are dangerous, discourteous and their numbers multiply by the day while knocking off the rest of us at the same rate. So I have taken to blasting my horn at these jerks with all my might, but one must be very, very careful because conditions have to be explicit. I must be in the lead car stopped at a red light. If I am behind the lead car then my musical rebuke might be taken by the driver in front as saying, “The light turned green, dummy, so start through the intersection. Never mind the danger.” Such a mistaken belief of my impatience can lead to unpleasant repercussions, not to mention concussions. This reaction is understandable. If I am the lead car, and the motorist behind me starts blasting his horn the moment the light turns green, that could be a legal basis for my quick use of a tire iron.

Perhaps if red-light runners were greeted by resounding honking from other motorists, the miscreants would feel guilty and mend their ways. Dream on, for we are dealing with a cretin who has the manners of a sewer rat. Still, it would make everyone else feel better by releasing a little pent-up fury. If my honk-at-the-heathens program fails to solve the problem, we could turn to City Hall for a solution. Mayor Bill White’s plans to put cameras at major intersections to snap photos of red-light runners is moving along, so maybe we could take his idea one step further and shoot those who endanger the rest of us with something stronger than cameras. I suggest a Taser.

All of which brings us to Carol Harris of Oakland, Calif. Harris was driving down a street when she spotted a labor union’s picketing outside the Claremont Resort and Spa in protest against rising health care costs and other issues. So she, as do all of us at one time or another, honked in support, as if to say, “Right on!” She then joined almost 40 motorists who were ticketed by the police for “unreasonable use of horn,” specifically violating a California Vehicle Code section prohibiting the use of horns except “when reasonably necessary to insure safe operation” of vehicles or as part of a theft-prevention system. She was fined $143, but appealed, saying the police violated her First Amendment rights.

I don’t think of honking as a First Amendment issue, but when it comes to red- light runners, I should be covered by the Second Amendment. H

Santa Fe

A short journey west yields otherworldly relaxation

The history
The history of Santa Fe is quite unique with its mixture of Indian, Latino and Anglo cultures. Although they do intermingle, each culture remains distinct. With eight sovereign Pueblo Indian communities, this is a land rich in tribal tradition and ceremony. Upon witnessing the dances and feast days of the Pueblos, visitors come to appreciate their centuries-old way of life. The Latino history here can be easily spotted with its adobe mission churches scattered throughout this land. Many of the artists also continue the traditions of the past by using traditional natural mediums, such as wood and natural pigments, to create artworks to adorn homes and churches.

The vibe
Santa Fe speaks to you. Whether in the center of town or in the mountainous exterior, the holistic energy surrounding this land has summoned people here for many years. The feeling lingering from the pueblo culture is one of healing, calmness and tranquility. Homes and businesses sport the adobe style that blends perfectly with the beautiful desert landscape. The many restaurants offer a variety of flavorful foods to tantalize your taste buds.

The feel
The healing atmosphere leads to some of the most revered spas around. Ten Thousand Waves is known worldwide for massage. It’s no wonder that the local school of massage provides a training ground for people who are devoted to healing and helping. After training, it’s hard for them to leave

Santa Fe – thank goodness.
A short 10 minutes from the city’s main square, the Bishop’s Lodge has played host to generations of families as they relaxed together, enjoying horseback riding, skeet shooting and dining.

A new addition to the Bishop’s Lodge is the ShaNah Spa, an intimate and cozy healing center, located just next to the pool. The Ayurvedic menu of offerings center on the balance of the mind and body; channeling this 5,000-year-old “Science of Life” established in India.

Before you select a treatment, start by discovering your dosha type. If you’ve never heard of a dosha, as I hadn’t, it’s the Ayurvedic measurement of your mental and physical characteristics – the right treatment is said to “align your dosha.” To determine your dosha type, a simple quiz is given with questions about your hair, weight, activity level and many other aspects of your life.

At the ShaNah Spa, it is the therapists who take this spa to the next level and make the treatments especially memorable. The Paprika facial came with a personal testimonial. Upon receiving this treatment for the first time, my facialist changed her major from education to beauty – just so she could administer this facial. She made the right choice.

The stimulating paprika and natural alpha hydroxy acids were tingly, yet not painful. Throughout this facial, you are certain it is working – something is going on – perhaps a little boost of elasticity? Positive effects of this facial can be felt for 10 days.

Don’t head to Santa Fe to have just another deep tissue massage. Opt for a one-of-a-kind treatment like a Cranial Sacral. Even the name made me wonder. Inside your body, between the cranium and the sacrum, your body holds cerebral-spinal fluid. While lying on your back, the therapist gently touches your back and neck. Quietly, she “listens” to your body. Any ailments are made known as she connects to your cerebral-spinal fluid. Slowly, she massages parts of your body “as they speak to her.” All the while you experience deep relaxation and a renewed sense of balance, all the way to the core of your being.

When to go
Is it the altitude or the attitude that makes this one of the best balloon festivals in the world? Oct. 1-9 marks the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. If you’re in Santa Fe, wake up early for the hour drive to Albuquerque. Even if you’re afraid of heights, riding in a hot air balloon is simply divine. The mass ascension begins at 7:15 a.m. – so get there early. First-time riders are met with champagne upon landing. Cheers! H

Essentials
– Ten Thousand Waves, 3451 Hyde Park Road, Santa Fe, (505) 982-9304, www.tenthousand waves.com – Bishops Lodge, 1297 Bishops Lodge Road, Santa Fe, (505) 983-6377, 1 (800) 732-2240, www.bishopslodge.com – ShaNah Spa, 1297 Bishops Lodge Road, Santa Fe, (505) 819-4000, www.shanahspa.com – Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, 4401 Alameda N.E., Albuquerque, (505) 821-1000, 1 (888) 422-7277, www.balloonfiesta.com – Santa Fe Convention &Visitors Bureau, (505) 955-62001, 1 (800) 777-2489, www.santafe.org

Get Rich Quick

My last attempt at getting rich quick did not work out. I thought the Jeff Make-a-Skilling Investment Fund would prosper. The SEC saw it differently. My tickets to the Houston Texans Super Bowl Victory Banquet were not moving. I tried to sell club memberships on KSEV for my Friends of Smog, only to find that its listener had been arrested as a Nazi war criminal. My idea of creating a Ukrainian accordion quartet to serenade romantic interludes bombed, as well.

So I visited my financial adviser. “Did you follow my recommendation and buy New Orleans Levee bonds?” he asked, as he pushed his grocery cart along the freeway median, stopping every so often to pick up an empty beer can.

“Yes,” I said, “and I lost it all.”

“Timing is everything,” he said. “You’ve got to know when to fold. Which reminds me, you did buy into the Texas Hold ‘Em craze, didn’t you?”

“No. You said to sell, because Texas Hold ‘Em was a brief fad, but you said to buy into the low carb diet craze. I did that, just before it went belly up.”

“At least the belly was flat,” he said while eyeing a bent Coors can. “Buy into restaurants. Everybody who is anybody is investing in restaurants.”

So I opened a Parisian bakery only to have it invaded by the German beer garden next door. I ran up a white flag. Still in a Gaulish mood, I launched a French Quarter café called the K-Jun and served beans and red rice. No one came. Only then did I learn the proper meal is red beans and rice. Making one last attempt, I filled the café ceiling-high with toxic water and empty promises. Zero. Sticking with a New Orleans theme, I changed the name to the Big Greasy. No luck.

“You’re on the right track,” my financial adviser said, while rolling a joint with his old Enron stock certificate. “You’ve got 200,000 new Houstonians from Louisiana, give or take a pirogue-load. Make them feel at home.”

I rented the Astrodome, surrounded it with heavily armed looters and served cold MREs. The operation went broke. My final thrust at corralling the Louisiana crowd was to open a FEMA restaurant. Place your order on Monday, and it will arrive at least by Saturday. One customer said my sub sandwich tasted like a soggy sandbag. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was.

My Tex-Mex restaurant, Borderline Food, was closed after the immigration agents raided my kitchen. They let my staff stay but deported the food.

Next, I tried a Good Cop, Bad Cop Doughnut shop with the slogan, “Take a truncheon to luncheon.” I was arrested for impersonating a cook.

“Think topical,” my financial adviser said between valet parking cars at Luby’s. That’s when I opened the Gas Station Café, complete with fake pumps, long lines and no service. But I went broke because I had to buy new menus every hour to list the higher prices. Still, that bankruptcy gave me an idea, and I started up the Señor Rita, a Tex-Mex restaurant catering to Houston’s returning hurricane evacuees. The place had no restrooms, all the lines were jammed except for those going the other way that were totally empty, and customers had to wait 10 hours for their food. It folded in 11 hours.

Then I got this great idea for the Hurricane Evacuation Plan Speedway, but the idea had already been copyrighted by Mayor Bill White. Staying topical, I opened the Bush Blame Game Pool Hall. The rules were that nobody lost and the more they screwed up, the more they were promoted. It was timely, but the Health Department accused me of creating a topical depression.

Next I held the grand opening for a home-cooking diner called Desperate Houseboys. The customers were desperate to leave. Then I tried the bar business. My saloon with a Roman theme, the Gin & Tunic, lasted XVII days. My English pub, the Fat Fergie, didn’t do much better. I tried to open an Irish-Taliban bar, the O’Sama bin Laden, but was strafed by the Air Force. My topless bar for Palestinians, the Gaza Strip, was leveled during a fight between Jewish settlers and the Israeli Army.

“I’m not getting rich quick,” I whined to my financial adviser, as he was peddling his Y2K Computer Protectors on the street corner.

“Politics is the key,? he said. “Politics is always hot.”

“Isn’t “politics” plural?” I asked.

“This is a one-party state,” he explained.

That’s when I opened my One Grandma’s Tough Steak House. I guess it was the wrong choice of words. The Rick Perry Beauty Parlor didn’t do much better. My Tom DeLay Charm School bombed, too.

As a last desperate effort, I checked with my financial adviser, who was re-filling the “For your protection” paper holders in the last stall. “I’ve tried everything,” I said, “but even if I do hit it big, how will I know when I’m rich?”

“Easy. When you stop paying taxes.”
“Thanks, Mr. Lay.” H

Understanding Family Law

Separating fact from fiction on issues such as divorce, common law marriage and child support.

Deciding to undertake a family law matter, whether it?s the decision to file for divorce, or realizing the need for a pre-marital agreement, can be a very trying time. While we at H Texas can?t give you any legal advice, we can tell you about some of the basic facts involved with family law matters in our state.

Please note that the following is not intended to be legal advice and should not take the place of representation by an attorney. You should contact an attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

Divorce
Texas does not have a legal separation, as you may have heard of in other states. If you feel that you need to protect your interests while your divorce is pending, you must file for divorce and request temporary orders be entered by the court. These temporary orders can control, among other things, which of the parties lives in the marital residence, who pays what expenses, where the children live, if temporary support is paid and to whom. While Texas does not have legal separation, it does have a mandatory 60 day minimum waiting period before your divorce can be finalized. This means that at least 60 days must pass between the day the Petition for Divorce is filed and the day that the court enters your Final Decree of Divorce. The Final Decree of Divorce is the document that outlines for the parties, and the court, exactly how everything was handled in your divorce. It addresses the division of your property and debt, as well as child custody, support and visitation.

Most people have heard that Texas is a ?community property? state but don?t really understand what that means. There is a presumption in the State of Texas that all property that is accumulated during a marriage is assumed to be the property of both the husband and wife. The same is true of any debt that was acquired during the time the parties were married. Both community assets, and debt, must be divided during the parties divorce. Separate property must also be considered in a divorce. This is generally property that was owned by one of the parties before they were married, or was given to one of the parties during the marriage by gift or through an inheritance. It is important in a divorce to keep documentation showing you owned an asset before marriage, or it was a gift or inheritance, if you want that asset to be confirmed as your separate property during a divorce.

If the parties are unable to reach an agreement on their own, community property in a divorce is divided in a manner that the judge ?deems just and right, having due regard for the rights of each party and any children of the marriage.? The judge may start with the assumption that property, and debt, will be divided 50/50 but may consider additional factors such as fault in the breakup of the marriage and disparity in the earning ability of the spouses when making the final decision.

A pre-marital agreement can be used in Texas to address the rights and obligations of each of the parties and any of the property that is acquired during the marriage. The agreement is a contract that can change the presumptions about community and separate property and gives the parties the freedom to arrange their marital property and property rights as they desire, not as governed by the Texas Family Code. The most significant limitation to a pre-marital agreement is that it may not adversely affect child support. Parties may also contractually change the character of their property after the marriage with a marital property agreement that partitions and exchanges between themselves all or part of their community property.

Common Law Marriage
Common law marriage is an area of family law that is often very confusing for people. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no minimum time that you must live together to automatically be considered ?common law? married. Texas courts will say you are ?common law? married if you have lived together in the State of Texas, hold yourselves out to others as husband and wife, and have a proven intent to be married. This is a much harder test to pass than merely living together for a certain length of time. You do not need a divorce from a common law marriage if you have been separated for more than two years. However, if it has been less than two years, and you have property to divide, you should file for divorce so the court can divide the property.

Child Custody/Conservatorship/Child Support
When most people are considering divorce, they often say they want ?full custody? of their children. This is not really a term that is used in Texas when dealing with custody issues. Texas finds parents to be ?conservators? of their children, and they can be either joint managing conservators, or one parent may be the sole managing conservator. Conservatorship does not define the amount of time that each parent will spend with the children, but defines the legal rights, responsibilities and duties of parents in raising their children. There is a presumption that it is in a child?s best interest for the parents to be named joint managing conservators; however, if there is a history of violence between the parents or involving the children, then the court may not appoint the parent perpetrating the violence a joint managing conservator. When parents are joint managing conservators, they generally share the rights and duties involved in rearing their children, but only one parent may determine the primary legal residence of the children, and generally, it is that parent who has the right to receive child support from the other parent. Texas law requires all parents to support their child with food, clothing and shelter while the child is with them. The parent that does not determine the primary residence of the child has an additional obligation to provide financial support of the child in the form of child support. There are guidelines in the Texas Family Code that determine the amount of child support a parent should pay if that parent does not have any other children to support and their net monthly resources are $6,000 per month or less:

20% from net monthly income for 1 child
25% from net monthly income for 2 children
30% from net monthly income for 3 children
35% from net monthly income for 4 children
40% from net monthly income for 5 children

No parent can be required to pay more than 50 percent of his/her net monthly earnings to support their children, and the percentages are reduced if the parent has children to support in another household.

Collaborative Law
Collaborative law is a new process in the State of Texas in which a husband and wife agree to cooperate completely in the divorce process. The purpose is to limit the damage, both emotional and financial, to the parties and help them make a smoother transition from married to divorced. There are attorneys who specialize in collaborative law, and one of these attorneys should be utilized to take full advantage of the process. True collaborative cases involve the parties signing an agreement to be respectful and cooperate fully in sharing information and during settlement negotiations. Unlike in most divorce proceedings, in a collaborative case, it is not unusual for counselors, accountants or clergy to attend meetings to assist in the settlement of the case. If an agreement is not reached, and the issues must be decided in court, the parties must dismiss their collaborative attorneys and hire new attorneys to handle the litigation of the case. Collaborative law is an excellent new tool that can limit the animosity and emotional hardship, as well as expense, of a contested divorce. H

Shelter from the Storm

Hurricane Katrina and its subsequent aftermath have been at the top of the headlines since late August. Though the projected direct path into New Orleans was averted, Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama were hit harder than anyone imagined – and the residents of this coastal area have been forced out of their homes and from their cities, many seeking shelter from the storm in Houston.

Recovering from this catastrophe has proved a national, state and local effort. More than 100,000 evacuees have sought refuge in Houston, whether in our hotels, homes or shelters. Emergency shelters in the Astrodome, Reliant Center and Reliant Arena have been dubbed “Reliant City,” and even downtown’s George R. Brown Convention Center has become a temporary shelter.

Thousands of volunteers have offered their time and efforts in Houston. Even more money has been donated here – an amount in the millions of dollars. There is a steady stream of clothing, medical supplies, food, water and school supplies being donated at area Red Cross establishments, the Houston Food Bank, schools, churches and businesses throughout Houston. Even our animal sanctuaries have become homes for furry hurricane evacuees. On the following pages, we bring you some glimpses of the people who found Houston a new – if not permanent – home and the Houstonians who welcomed them with open arms and warm hearts.

As the first buses began rolling in to the Astrodome, volunteers swung into action bringing food, water and a comforting presence for our displaced neighbors.

Once the evacuees filled the Astrodome, the convention center was made ready for receiving more victims of Katrina’s wrath. Houston’s citizens and leaders continued a sustained effort to make our new visitors as safe and comfortable as possible.

Houston Headliner

This month, Houstonian Michelle DeJean revisits the Bayou City to play the role of Roxie Hart in “Chicago,” from Oct. 11-23. Having filled the roles of Anita in “West Side Story” and Gloria Upson in “Mame” for national tours, this diva recently completed the lead roll of Roxie Hart on Broadway. A graduate of Houston’s very own High School for the Performing &Visual Arts and a former student of the TUTS Humphreys School of Musical Theatre, DeJean proves that Houston is the perfect place to launch a Broadway career.

H: Where do you live now? MD: I currently live in New York City.

H: Are you married, or do you have any children? (Or pets?) MD: I am single and am the proud owner of a dog and a horse – a beautiful Newfoundland mix and a black Arabian gelding, Crunchy and Moonstruck.

H: How do you think your training in Houston measures up to that of New York? MD: Well, all of my formal training was in Houston. So, the only reason that I am where I am today is because of my training with Spring Academy of Dance, The Houston Ballet Academy, TUTS Humphreys School and HSPVA.

H: What do you think of Houston fans? Do you think Houston maintains a high cultural appreciation and level of support for the arts? MD: I find that the Houston fans are loyal, but also well informed and very theater savvy. The level of the arts programs in Houston is extreme. I am so proud to come from a city that supports the arts as much as Houston does. The Houston Ballet, the Houston Symphony, the Alley Theatre, TUTS, etcetera are all top of the line. What a city!

H: When did you know you wanted to be in musical theater, and why? MD: My mother said that I could sing whole songs before I could say whole sentences. I have always wanted to be in “the business” somehow, and I didn’t really care how. I think that my final decision to move into musical theater exclusively came around the age of 15.

H: Which characters have you enjoyed most playing, and why? MD: Anita in “West Side Story” is, in my opinion, one of the best roles in musical theater for a woman. She is strong, feisty, emotional, and every time she is on stage, it’s in a show-stopping number. Now that’s hard to beat. Roxie Hart is a very different role for me to play. Although she is ultimately a murderess, she remains naive and wears her heart on her sleeve. She is one of the most loveable murderesses you will ever meet.

H: I heard that playing Roxie Hart on Broadway was a lifelong dream. What are some other dreams that you wish to fulfill? MD: Playing Roxie is definitely a dream come true, but I wouldn?t go so far as to say a lifelong dream. My all-time dream roles have included: Anita-“West Side Story,” Nancy-“Oliver,” Eponine-“Les Miserables.” There are others that I dream of playing but don’t have the “vocal chops” for; Eliza Doolittle-“My Fair Lady,” Maria-“West Side Story,” Fantine-“Les Miserables.”

H: Are your professional aspirations limited to musical theater, or will we see you on the big screen (or somewhere else) one day? MD: I would love to venture into TV and film. My dancing days are numbered. Any takers?

H: What’s the secret to your success? MD: Incredible training, being in the right place at the right time, loving what I do, respecting my co-workers, keeping a strong work ethic and staying away from drugs.

H: What would you say to someone who dreams of making it to Broadway? MD: First wrack your brain to see if there is anything at all that you might rather do. If you still end up wanting Broadway, then here is my advice. Get the best training available to you. Don’t limit yourself to one style of training. Take ballet, tap, gymnastics, voice, acting, anything that you can possibly get your hands on. The more you can do, the more marketable you are.

Before you even consider moving to New York, work with someone to prepare an audition song book. Include standards, pop, country, rock, folk, musical theater songs, etcetera – anything. Get yourself some decent headshots that look like you. Prepare yourself for some disappointments along the way, they are bound to happen. After all of these things are done, spread your wings and fly. H

Everyday Actions

Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women. It is also the second leading cause of cancer deaths in women, yet many people don’t think about donating to breast cancer charities until Breast Cancer Awareness Month. At that time, we open our checkbooks and donate. What many of us don’t know is there are everyday things we can do to aid in the fight against breast cancer. From grocery shopping to recycling, everyday events take on a whole new meaning.

Grocery shopping
You can donate to the fight against breast cancer while you do your weekly grocery shopping. Here in Houston, there are three grocery store chains that offer community programs in which a portion of your purchase is donated to aid The Rose, a non-profit breast healthcare center that offers cancer screening, diagnosis and support to women of all socioeconomic levels. Link your Randalls Remarkable Card to The Rose (The Rose’s number is 891), use your Kroger Share card (available at The Rose) or present The Rose ID number (124310) with your Gerland’s customer advantage card to help aid the fight against breast cancer. (281) 484-4708, www.the-rose.org

Donating printer cartridges
Got ink? Donate your used printer cartridges to Janet Baker’s “Pink in the Ink” program and aid The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation Houston Affiliate, a foundation dedicated to advancing research, education, screening and treatments of breast cancer through grant programs that fund basic and clinical research. Just donate your empty, expired or unused inkjet, laser jet and fax cartridges. Baker’s company, EPI Services Inc., will sell donated cartridges to re-manufacturing companies and donate the money to the Komen Houston Affiliate. (713) 783-9188, www.pinkintheink.com

Giving gifts
Having trouble picking out a gift? Fret no more! With the Breast Cancer Alliance, your gift can help fight breast cancer. Make a donation in someone’s honor or to mark a special day, such as a birthday or anniversary. A card will be sent to your special someone in recognition of your donation, making gift giving a snap. Donations to the Breast Cancer Alliance make a wonderful gift and help to aid a needy cause. www.breastcanceralliance.org H

Giving a “Voice to the Voiceless”

A family living in Houston’s 5th Ward neighborhood is in a tight spot. Housing costs and expenses are creeping up, but their income remains unchanged. No matter how hardworking they may be, the dream of raising their children in a safer, healthier environment continues to be out of reach. Voicing grievances against unfair lending practices, they find themselves unheard and lost in a sea of bureaucracy.

Thankfully, that’s where ACORN steps in. The Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) is the nation’s largest community organization of low- and moderate-income families, advocating social justice and working to build stronger communities. With 175,000 member families and still growing, ACORN is tightly organized among 850 close-knit neighborhood chapters in 75 metro areas across the United States (including Houston), as well as in cities in Canada, the Dominican Republic and Peru.

ACORN battles fought and won
ACORN members have earned the right to be proud of the fruits of their labors in fighting and winning campaigns over the years. In their battle for community reinvestment, ACORN negotiated landmark agreements with banks in more than 17 U.S. cities, winning more than $1 billion to act as loans for low-income neighborhoods. Housing campaigns led eight U.S. cities to turn over vacant houses to low-income residents.

On the education front, alternative public schools in four ACORN neighborhoods were established, school facilities and governance were improved in five U.S. cities, and school safety in New Orleans and Detroit was significantly improved. Due to ACORN’s efforts in recent years, lingering unemployment, health and environmental justice issues were addressed. Developers in more than eight U.S. cities were required to hire low-income unemployed residents through the secured “First Source” agreements, and companies were forced to clean up, move or cancel plans for toxic plants and dumps in 11 cities. With neighborhood safety being a major issue among low-income communities, ACORN fought and won the battle for police and city officials to respond more effectively to rapes and went on to establish rape-prevention programs in five major U.S. cities.

ACORN’s work in Houston
One of the central campaigns currently being fought by the ACORN Texas chapter addresses the growing need to establish affordable housing for low- and middle-income families in the Houston area.

“‘Affordable’ is just not affordable for low-income families,” says Toni McElroy, president of ACORN’s Texas chapter. Median incomes in Houston hover around the $57,000 mark, though McElroy continues: “Many families make well under that. Rather, the majority of ACORN families are in the neighborhoods of making $24,000.” To address the growing need for affordable housing in the Houston area, ACORN is focusing its attention on getting an ordinance passed to receive the money necessary to meet the housing needs of ACORN communities; unfortunately, the fight is proving to be an uphill battle. “Local funding is done ad hoc,” McElroy explains. “Those that get there first, get the first cookie out of the cookie jar.”

In the meantime, ACORN continues on its steady course in supporting those Houston communities in need – the 3rd and 5th Wards, Acres Home, Independence Heights – by hosting community meetings and keeping residents abreast in the goings-on of the city government and local communities.

ACORN members and volunteers regularly hold loud, visible public rallies with the hope that the news coverage generated will give the public a better understanding of the plight of Houston’s low-income communities. “We want the public to see those folks in the red ACORN T-shirts,” McElroy explains, “and hear them raising heck to give a voice for the voiceless.”

Join the ACORN Rally – volunteer!
“The month of October is dedicated to voter registration and getting a solid voter turn-out,” says McElroy. To do exactly that, on Monday, Oct. 24 – the first day of early voting – ACORN will hold a rally among Houston’s low- and moderate-income communities to help build local awareness of the importance of the voting process and mainly, according to McElroy, to “generate interest in voting.” To ensure the success of the Oct. 24 rally, ACORN welcomes all volunteers to join their cause, whether to set up booths, hand out fliers to members of the community or simply to help out where help is needed. If you are unable to join the ACORN rally, but would still like to participate in the cause, donations are always welcome and can be processed through the ACORN website.

What else can you do for ACORN?
Plenty. If you are an advocate for economic and social justice and are passionate in fighting for the rights of low- and moderate-income communities, ACORN wants you for a member. By contributing an annual membership fee of $120, ACORN members receive regular bulletins and updates on the progress of local and national ACORN campaigns. Equally as important, membership fees secure ACORN’s ability to pay omnipresent bills and sustain its role as the nation’s largest grassroots organization, protecting the lowest income families in the U.S. and giving them the voice they deserve.

For more information about ACORN and ACORN membership (or if you would like to make a donation), visit www.acorn.org or call (713) 868-7015. H

Free Things to do in Houston

October brings pleasant weather, and with it, an adventuresome spirit. Get out and enjoy what Houston has to offer – it’s fun and free!

Mercer Arboretum and Botanic Gardens
Located in north Houston, this arboretum contains both native and cultivated plants. The park spans more than 250 acres and has five miles of trails. It contains butterfly, tropical and rose gardens, to name a few of the attractions. Whether you’re looking to spend a day or volunteer regularly, Mercer has much to offer. 22306 Aldine Westfield, Humble, (281) 443-8731

Lillie &Hugh Roy Cullen Sculpture Garden
Enjoy a peaceful day among 19th and 20th century sculptures. This acre of art is sure to inspire all who visit. Montrose Boulevard at Bissonnet Street, (713) 639-7300

Home Depot Workshops and Clinics
Home Depot offers Do-It-Herself Workshops, Weekly Clinics and Kids Workshops to give people a supportive place to learn to do various things around the house. The events include topics such as pressure washing, updating your cabinets and proper painting techniques. Visit the Home Depot near you. www.homedepotclinics.com

Lynchburg Ferry Service
Take a historic and beautiful ride across the San Jacinto River. This ferry service has been running since 1822 and played an important role in the fight for Texas’ independence. Take the seven to 10 minute ride, and enjoy the beautiful scenery. 1001 South Lynchburg, Baytown, (281) 424-3521

Japanese Garden in Hermann Park
Experience the natural beauty and simplicity of Japan. This garden utilizes natural materials such as rock, wood and plants to create a feeling of serenity. This is definitely a garden you won’t want to miss. 1500 Hermann Drive, (713) 284-1989

Memorial Park
With more than 1,400 acres, Memorial Park is an excellent place to spend the day. The park is complete with recreational trails, a golf course, tennis courts and a driving range (though some of these cost money). There is also plenty of room for a picnic! 6501 Memorial Drive, (713) 845-1000

Glenwood Cemetery
Are you looking for a historic cemetery this Halloween season? Glenwood Cemetery was Houston’s first professionally designed cemetery. It is full of sculptures, obelisks and historical markers nestled on small rolling hills with one of the best views of Houston’s skyline. Howard Hughes, the eccentric aviator, is the cemetery’s most famous resident. 2525 Washington Ave., (713) 864-7886

The Children’s Museum of Houston
The Wortham Foundation Inc. and John P. McGovern, M.D. sponsor Free Family Nights on Thursdays from 5-8 p.m. Bring your children to experience the hands-on exhibits in science, technology, history, culture, health, human development and the arts. 1500 Binz, (713) 522-1138, www.cmhouston.org

Edith L. Moore Nature Sanctuary
Relax a while and watch the birds at this beautiful sanctuary. Be sure to check out the log cabin and educational programs. The gates are open from 7 a.m.-7 p.m. 440 Wilchester Blvd., (713) 932-1639, www.houstonaudubon.org The Menil Collection and The Rothko Chapel
Dominique and John de Menil left a legacy of art in Houston with The Menil Collection and The Rothko Chapel. The Menil Collection features the Menil’s private art collection that dates from the Paleolithic era to today and is divided into four areas – Antiquity, Byzantine and Medieval, Tribal, and Twentieth Century Art. The Rothko Chapel is a non-denominational chapel that acts as a sanctuary for people of every religion. Fourteen of Mark Rothko’s works can be viewed here. The Menil Collection: 1515 Sul Ross (parking at 1515 W. Alabama), (713) 525-9400, www.menil.org; The Rothko Chapel: 1409 Sul Ross St., (713) 524-9839, www.rothkochapel.org

Holocaust Museum Houston
With an ongoing message that “humankind must learn to live together in peace and harmony,” the Holocaust Museum reminds the public of the need for Holocaust remembrance and understanding to insure such an atrocity is not repeated. This museum reminds us all of the dangers of prejudice and hatred. Admission is always free, but donations are appreciated. 5401 Caroline St., (713) 942-8000, www.hmh.org

Traders Village
Museums aren’t your thing? Enjoy a day of bargain hunting at Traders Village Flea Market. With 105 acres and 1,000 dealers, new treasures can be discovered every weekend. Don’t miss the festivals! (The seventh annual Halloween Boo Bash is Oct. 30.) 7979 North Eldridge Road, (281) 890-5500, www.tradersvillage.com

Old Town Spring
Step back in time with a visit to Old Town Spring. Filled with shops, restaurants, museums and art galleries, this town has something different around every corner. 1 (800) OLD-TOWN, www.oldtownspringtx.com H

Halloween in Houston

Houston is home to a number of haunted stories. Founded in 1836, the city has had its fair share of spooky stories and frightening events. There have been murders and slayings, disappearances and accidents. One of the most interesting stories that we found has to do with the banks of Buffalo Bayou.

Rich banks
As we were told by Sandra Lord of Discover Houston Tours, the banks of the bayou were used as burial sites in the 19th century. Wealthy families lived along the waterway, and family vaults were carved into the banks.

Though the remains along the bayou were excavated and moved to Glenwood Cemetery in 1901, there still remains a little-known vault beneath the Franklin Street bridge at Louisiana. The Donnellan family was once buried here, but because of its unique location under the bridge, the vault has remained.

Sadly, this family suffered a loss that remains on history books today. During the Civil War, a Confederate ship, bringing goods to soldiers, sank just short of the Milam Street landing. The ship remained here, underwater, for the most part, for decades. As water levels fell, the ship could be seen through the murky waters of the bayou.

This must have sparked the curiosity of two of the young Donnellan boys. They decided to explore the remains of the ship beneath the water, but did not realize what the cargo contained. Unfortunately, the ship had been carrying weaponry and artillery, and, according to the story, as the boys dove in and out of the ship, they disturbed some of the ammunition. The ship exploded and took the lives of the two young boys. They were interred in the family vault along the bayou. Although most evidence of this unique burial system has been washed away by the waters of the bayou, the Donnellan family vault remains. An impressive red brick edifice wall can be found beneath the bridge, attesting to the city’s early cemetery history.

Treacherous Tours
Walking tours prove frighteningly fascinating
If you have never taken the time to saunter about downtown, this is the time to start. The weather is wonderful, the construction is (nearly) over and the ghost stories are abounding. With the revitalization of Houston’s downtown, there has also been a revival of the area’s historic hauntings.

Hosting Ghost Walks through downtown Houston for the past five years, Sandra Lord of Discover Houston Tours will be leading these terrifying tours Friday and Saturday nights from Sept. 30-Oct. 29. Starting at the historic Southern Pacific building’s Franklin Street Coffee House and winding through downtown (including a ride on the METROrail), tourists discover the beauty and diversity of the area, as well as some of the spooky stories that accompany the century-old buildings.

Although in years past the tour has welcomed the whole family, this year’s Ghost Walks stop into quite a few bars and include a bit more terrifying tales. Ideal for a date, these tours are wonderful combo of history and lore, and guides are able to weave a perfectly frightening night. To make a reservation for the Ghost Walks, call (713) 222-9255 or visit www.discoverhoustontour.com. (Just to let you know – she does all types of historic tours all year long!)

Wrong floor
One of the most repeated ghost stories and well known haunted buildings in Houston is the present-day Spaghetti Warehouse restaurant on Commerce Street. Built in 1912, it was originally the Desel-Boettcher building.

According to Lord, this building was the site of a very unfortunate accident. Formerly used as a pharmaceutical warehouse, a very untimely death occurred here – and the building has been haunted ever since.

The story goes that a young pharmacist worked long hours at the office. One such evening, he was carrying a full load in his arms, waiting for the elevator on the second floor of the building. He didn’t wait long enough – and stepped in before the elevator had gotten there. He fell to his death. Not only do many claim his ghost haunts the restaurant, but also that of his wife. (The story assumes that she was very unhappy about her husband’s young demise.)

Spaghetti Warehouse staff claims that “weird” things happen here – especially on the second floor and in the basement. From cold, clammy gusts of wind to soft whispers, moved objects to unexplained hair-raising feelings, nary a ghost enthusiast is disappointed when he/she visits the Spaghetti Warehouse.

Old regular
Lord relates a number of ghostly stories emanating from everyone’s favorite wine bar, as well. La Carafe is housed in Houston’s oldest commercial building. Constructed in 1860, the building at 813 Congress has housed a number of occupants; but for the last half century, La Carafe has delighted patrons with pleasantly priced wines and a unique historical character that pulls in a comfortable, eclectic crowd.

Here, there are definitely regulars, people who wish they could be more regular about coming and visitors who come for the first time and vow to become regular patrons. Once you step in the door, you fall in love.

This may be true for a ghost who is rumored to haunt this funky bar. As the story goes, there is a regular guest who just couldn’t give up his seat at the bar. Sightings and stories have melded together, but the ghost remains a loyal patron. H

For Little Pumpkins
More than trick-or-treating, these activities offer Holloween hilarity Halloween is for the kids, anyway. There are a number of wonderful children- and family-friendly events held throughout Houston. From putt-putt golf to fall festivals, take the whole gang out for some spooky entertainment.

Haunted holes
For a spooky night of putt-putt golf, come to the fourth annual Haunted Holes at the Putt-Putt FunHouse where every Friday and Saturday night in October will feature 18 spooky holes with elaborate decorations, interactive props, professional actors and trick-or-treating. Guests will be walked through the bat cave, pumpkin patch, graveyard, haunted castle and alligator hole. A Haunted Holes ticket also includes a free ticket for CastlEscape, a Halloween-themed virtual reality feature. (281) 333-0579, www.puttputtfunhouse.com

Very scary
This is your last chance to experience the haunted house, gothic castle and phantom funhouse of Fright Fest at Astroworld – and, for that matter, Astroworld altogether. Friday nights, Saturdays and Sundays from Oct. 7-30, Astroworld will again open their gates for the scare of the season. You won’t want to miss the “ghastly fiends” or the “ghoulish clowns.” (713) 799-1234, www.sixflags.com

Kid fun
Your family will love the lurking spiders, cheerful ghosts, friendly goblins and dancing skeletons of The Children’s Museum of Houston’s McDonald’s Halloween Mansion on Oct. 15-31. Kids will have a spookily good time dancing to the fun Halloween music. (713) 522-1138, www.cmhouston.org

Boo at the zoo
The Houston Zoo puts a spin on trick-or-treating with Zoo Boo on Oct. 21-23 and 28-30. With a Happy Haunted House (animal themed, of course), craft booths, parades, magic shows and more, there is an activity every member of the family will enjoy. Don’t miss the 500 lighted pumpkins! (713) 533-6500, www.houstonzoo.org

Ghostly gardens
Bring the whole family to Moody Gardens on Galveston Island on Oct. 30 for Ghostly Gardens from 2-4 p.m. The events will range from free trick-or-treating to costume contests. You will also enjoy the free screening of a classic creepy movie! (800) 582-4673, www.moodygardens.org

Pumpkin Patch
What a sweet little pumpkin

St. Luke’s United Methodist Church offers the ultimate photo opp. for Halloween. Every fall, the church’s front lawn is transformed into a beautiful pumpkin patch. With all sizes and varieties of pumpkins and gourds, as well as Indian corn and ceramic decorations, you are sure to be able to find the perfect jack-o-lantern. Families are able to go out to the church and buy these orange beauties (and take some pictures, too!) from Sept. 24-Oct. 31. All the proceeds benefit the Pure Sound Youth Choir, a harmonious group composed of 7th to 12th graders. 3471 Westheimer, (713) 402-5016 H

Sante Fe

The history

The history of Santa Fe is quite unique with its mixture of Indian, Latino and Anglo cultures. Although they do intermingle, each culture remains distinct. With eight sovereign Pueblo Indian communities, this is a land rich in tribal tradition and ceremony. Upon witnessing the dances and feast days of the Pueblos, visitors come to appreciate their centuries-old way of life. The Latino history here can be easily spotted with its adobe mission churches scattered throughout this land. Many of the artists also continue the traditions of the past by using traditional natural mediums, such as wood and natural pigments, to create artworks to adorn homes and churches.

The vibe

Santa Fe speaks to you. Whether in the center of town or in the mountainous exterior, the holistic energy surrounding this land has summoned people here for many years. The feeling lingering from the pueblo culture is one of healing, calmness and tranquility. Homes and businesses sport the adobe style that blends perfectly with the beautiful desert landscape. The many restaurants offer a variety of flavorful foods to tantalize your taste buds.

The feel

The healing atmosphere leads to some of the most revered spas around. Ten Thousand Waves is known worldwide for massage. It’s no wonder that the local school of massage provides a training ground for people who are devoted to healing and helping. After training, it’s hard for them to leave

Santa Fe – thank goodness.

A short 10 minutes from the city’s main square, the Bishop’s Lodge has played host to generations of families as they relaxed together, enjoying horseback riding, skeet shooting and dining.

A new addition to the Bishop’s Lodge is the ShaNah Spa, an intimate and cozy healing center, located just next to the pool. The Ayurvedic menu of offerings center on the balance of the mind and body; channeling this 5,000-year-old “Science of Life” established in India.

Before you select a treatment, start by discovering your dosha type. If you’ve never heard of a dosha, as I hadn’t, it’s the Ayurvedic measurement of your mental and physical characteristics – the right treatment is said to “align your dosha.” To determine your dosha type, a simple quiz is given with questions about your hair, weight, activity level and many other aspects of your life.

At the ShaNah Spa, it is the therapists who take this spa to the next level and make the treatments especially memorable. The Paprika facial came with a personal testimonial. Upon receiving this treatment for the first time, my facialist changed her major from education to beauty – just so she could administer this facial. She made the right choice.

The stimulating paprika and natural alpha hydroxy acids were tingly, yet not painful. Throughout this facial, you are certain it is working – something is going on – perhaps a little boost of elasticity? Positive effects of this facial can be felt for 10 days.

Don’t head to Santa Fe to have just another deep tissue massage. Opt for a one-of-a-kind treatment like a Cranial Sacral. Even the name made me wonder. Inside your body, between the cranium and the sacrum, your body holds cerebral-spinal fluid. While lying on your back, the therapist gently touches your back and neck. Quietly, she “listens” to your body. Any ailments are made known as she connects to your cerebral-spinal fluid. Slowly, she massages parts of your body “as they speak to her.” All the while you experience deep relaxation and a renewed sense of balance, all the way to the core of your being.

When to go

Is it the altitude or the attitude that makes this one of the best balloon festivals in the world? Oct. 1-9 marks the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. If you’re in Santa Fe, wake up early for the hour drive to Albuquerque. Even if you’re afraid of heights, riding in a hot air balloon is simply divine. The mass ascension begins at 7:15 a.m. – so get there early. First-time riders are met with champagne upon landing. Cheers! H

Essentials

– Ten Thousand Waves, 3451 Hyde Park Road, Santa Fe, (505) 982-9304, www.tenthousand waves.com – Bishops Lodge, 1297 Bishops Lodge Road, Santa Fe, (505) 983-6377, 1 (800) 732-2240, www.bishopslodge.com – ShaNah Spa, 1297 Bishops Lodge Road, Santa Fe, (505) 819-4000, www.shanahspa.com – Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, 4401 Alameda N.E., Albuquerque, (505) 821-1000, 1 (888) 422-7277, www.balloonfiesta.com – Santa Fe Convention &Visitors Bureau, (505) 955-62001, 1 (800) 777-2489, www.santafe.org

Pistol Packing Drivers

THE INTERSECTION – Look at that idiot. He (or she, with those heavily tinted car windows, it’s hard to tell the driver’s gender or even the species) is running a red light. Where is a cop? Or even a camera, so the lawbreaker could get an admonishing note from the HPD? So I honk and think of Carol Harris.

My noise-making is unusual because we don’t actually hear much honking around Houston, certainly not like in New York City where every intersection is an official Taxi Cab Honking Zone, often accompanied by gestures and shouts in Bangladeshi and/or Swahili. No, in Houston we rarely hear Gabriel or anyone else blowing his horn. There is a simple reason for this: fear. A honk in Houston is a call to arms, a request to play target, a road to rage. How many times have we read in the newspapers about gunfire being exchanged by two motorists after one driver, quite within his or her God-given powers, gets cut off and answers the challenge with a blast from an AK-47? It’s the Texas way. I often think our state motto should be: “Shoot Friendly” or “One Car, One Gun.”

To be fair, former DA Johnny Holmes once estimated that only one out of every three motorists in Houston was armed, but that was before the State Legislature, in its wisdom, passed the Concealed Weapons Act. It is based on our Second Amendment right to keep and bear bazookas. So today, the ratio for handguns-to-glove-compartments is, indeed, probably one to one.

There are many reasons Houston drivers defend themselves from marauding motorists. For example, if you leave a little space between your vehicle and the car in front so you won’t rear-end it in case of a quick stop, you can be guaranteed that another car will jam in between you two, thus making you drop back even farther. Also, there are cases of blatant use of turn signals. In Houston, using your turn indicator is frowned upon.

More grounds for anger mismanagement are those phone users who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time, thus they can’t drive and talk simultaneously. These drivers are easy to spot: They have a long black phone cord running out their trunk. But the worst motorists on our roads, the ones we see speeding, weaving, driving and endangering everyone else, are called “wrecker drivers.”

There are certain vehicles to avoid challenging. First are those whose hood ornaments are a sniper-scope with cross hairs. The same goes for pickup trucks with tail-gunners. We’ve all seen those bumper stickers reading: “Keep honking, I’m re-loading.” Others to watch for are: “I’d Rather Be Knee-Capping” and “Ask Me About My Parole.”

On the other hand, there is one occasion which I now think qualifies as justifiable honking: the red-light runners. They are dangerous, discourteous and their numbers multiply by the day while knocking off the rest of us at the same rate. So I have taken to blasting my horn at these jerks with all my might, but one must be very, very careful because conditions have to be explicit. I must be in the lead car stopped at a red light. If I am behind the lead car then my musical rebuke might be taken by the driver in front as saying, “The light turned green, dummy, so start through the intersection. Never mind the danger.” Such a mistaken belief of my impatience can lead to unpleasant repercussions, not to mention concussions. This reaction is understandable. If I am the lead car, and the motorist behind me starts blasting his horn the moment the light turns green, that could be a legal basis for my quick use of a tire iron.

Perhaps if red-light runners were greeted by resounding honking from other motorists, the miscreants would feel guilty and mend their ways. Dream on, for we are dealing with a cretin who has the manners of a sewer rat. Still, it would make everyone else feel better by releasing a little pent-up fury. If my honk-at-the-heathens program fails to solve the problem, we could turn to City Hall for a solution. Mayor Bill White’s plans to put cameras at major intersections to snap photos of red-light runners is moving along, so maybe we could take his idea one step further and shoot those who endanger the rest of us with something stronger than cameras. I suggest a Taser.

All of which brings us to Carol Harris of Oakland, Calif. Harris was driving down a street when she spotted a labor union’s picketing outside the Claremont Resort and Spa in protest against rising health care costs and other issues. So she, as do all of us at one time or another, honked in support, as if to say, “Right on!” She then joined almost 40 motorists who were ticketed by the police for “unreasonable use of horn,” specifically violating a California Vehicle Code section prohibiting the use of horns except “when reasonably necessary to insure safe operation” of vehicles or as part of a theft-prevention system. She was fined $143, but appealed, saying the police violated her First Amendment rights.

I don’t think of honking as a First Amendment issue, but when it comes to red- light runners, I should be covered by the Second Amendment. H