Tune in for Top-selling Stories

Welcome to Channel 4’s nightly news, where we cover Houston like the smog, with our anchors Chip Chap and Twinkie Airhead, weatherman Rainer Shine and sports groupie Homer Fields. All that, plus our exclusive aerial FourNewsCamShotSlamScan.

Hi, neighbors, I’m Chip Chap. Thank you for watching. Our first story is a really bloody murder. (Cut to yellow police tape and blinking red lights in the background.) Somebody got shot, and another person was stabbed. (Cut to two bodies under sheets with boots sticking out.) Now, our next story: Another shooting and another stabbing, then there was this bloody car wreck that killed a bunch of people. Then we have ?

Excuse me, Chip.

Yes, Twinkie?

Those firefighters and police at the car wreck scene, they don’t look like Houston fire and police officials.

Well, actually, the wreck was in Amsterdam. We didn’t have any real good local wrecks to show tonight.

And the Christmas decorations in the background?

Uh, it happened last December. But it really is good and bloody. Now, over to you, Twinkie.

Thanks, Chip. Is your can opener a lethal weapon? Is the federal government hiding the truth about doormats? Plus: “Housewives Working Topless Clubs.” All that, tomorrow night.

Twinkie, do we know the answers to those questions?

Of course, but this is sweeps month; and if we tell them the answers, they won’t tune in tomorrow night. Now, here with sports is Homer Fields.

Thanks. Today the Killer Bees swatted the horsehide over the green monster as the ‘Stros clipped the Beantown Bombers 5-zip. In other scores, it was 3-3, 8-0 and 12-10. In pro hoops, T-Mac may go to La-La Land, and the Chuckster could be a partner in Mo Town. Finally, America’s Team signed Gonzo to dance with Norm the Arm.

Homer, I didn’t understand a single word you said.

That’s jock-talk, Chip. It’s the same with sports reporters for newspapers. Notice how they will write 10 paragraphs before telling the reader who won, by how much and why? It’s not our job to report. It’s our job to show how clever we are.

Homer, your reports are nothing but stale clichés, mysterious nicknames and sophomoric humor. Why can’t you just speak English?

Gee, I never thought of that. Oh, one last item: We need to buy those season tickets for next fall’s Rice and UH football games. We’ve got to support our local teams. Same with the pros – Texans, Rockets, Aeros and Astros. Buy those tickets.

Homer, how many season tickets did you buy?

Well, actually, none.

Did you buy tickets for maybe one, just one, game?

Not exactly.

That’s because you get in free to every game, don’t you? And they ply you with food and booze, then you have the audacity to tell us to buy tickets? You’re a shameless, aging cheerleader.

What’s your point?

In other news, we are having some really heavy rains, so let’s go to our field reporter, Wolf Crier, for an update.

Chip, as you can see, the water is flooding Bellaire. It’s up to my knees now. Remember, folks: Don’t walk in this deep water. There could be downed live electric lines or open manhole covers.

But Wolf, you’re walking in that water.

Right, Chip, to show viewers that AGGGGGG!

We seem to have lost our picture, but we’ll try to get back to Wolf later in the program. Speaking of floods, Rainer, what happened to the ‘sunny and dry’ prediction last night?

It’s not my fault, gang. I blame it on Wally the Weather Walrus. Notice tonight, he’s all dressed up like an armadillo because tomorrow are the Houston Armadillo Races, and we’ll be there.

Wally doesn’t seem to like the costume.

No, Twinkie, he loves it. Let go of my arm, Wally. He just – Wally, let go! Each night we – I’m bleeding! Get a doctor!

Next, we have Letters from our Viewers:
“Why is it that every night you run story after story of shootings, car wrecks and apartment fires but never touch on the city budget, pollution, school board debates or anything of substance? Signed, Switching to CNN, in Sugar Land.”

Let me handle that one, Twinkie. It costs money to assign a reporter to spend the days needed to go through the city budget or investigate pollution in the Ship Channel. But we can pay some freelance TV cameraman a few bucks to get all the fires and barroom shootings we want. Our parent company, Bottom Line Inc., knows what it’s doing.

But, Chip, I have a question, too. Why do we put the news on at 10 o’clock instead of doing like most of the nation does and run the evening news at 11?

Most of Houston can’t stay up to watch the 10 o’clock news. If we were on at 11, we wouldn’t have any viewers at all. Even so, we’re tied in ratings with the Cartoon Channel.

A lot of viewers think this is the Cartoon Channel.

Hey, we’re serious journalists. Incidentally, is that a new sports jacket? Goes great with the tie.

Thanks, Twinkie. And your new hairdo is a real knockout.

Wally, let go! Somebody get a taser!

We’ll be back with the latest developments on World War III after these messages.

Glad you choose, FourPlay News, Love and hatings, rants and ratings, FourPlay News – H

Salons and Spas

Whether you are getting out of town or just going down the street, these relaxing retreats provide the answers to life’s hard muscles

Taking time out to pamper your body and soul can be one of the most important indulgences you make. A day at the spa gives you time to relax, re-evaluate and rejuvenate – so you can start fresh (and with a positive outlook) tomorrow. Whether you choose a spa around the corner from your office or on the other side of the world, remember that it’s worth it.

Roads to wellness
Give yourself permission to feel complete and reconnect with yourself as you enjoy hours of bliss at some terrific spas. It’s not just another day at the office in the search for the ultimate indulgence.

SháNah Spa: In harmony
Your mind and body will fall into perfect balance at this intimate new spa on the historic Bishop’s Lodge property in New Mexico. Rich with Native American traditions and healing rituals, this abundant area is steep with knowledgeable spa therapists who immediately tune in to your body’s needs at SháNah Spa.

Of special note is the menu of ayurvedic treatments derived from a 5,000-year-old healing art established in India. A core principle guiding these treatments is determining your “dosha” type, a ruling characteristic that determines behavior, physical makeup and health tendencies. A simple quiz identifies your type, and then your treatments are customized to keep the dosha aligned.

The decadently therapeutic paprika facial by Eminence, a Hungarian line of food-themed skin-care products, shows positive results for at least 12 days. You can feel the heat emulating from the therapist’s hands during the cranial sacral treatment. This uses the body’s spinal fluid flow to determine which part to massage next. 1297 Bishop’s Lodge Road, Santa Fe, N.M., (800) 543-8475, www.shanahspa.com

The Spa at Bernardus Lodge: Ultimate indulgence
Amazingly picturesque and elegant, The Spa at Bernardus Lodge is at home on the grounds of a Carmel Valley winery. Sit in front of the fireplace and enjoy a glass of wine from the area, or enjoy the heated outdoor relaxation pool.

Since the benefit of grapes extends beyond the pleasure of wine, try the grape-seed antioxidant facial made from the finely crushed fruits. This harvest crush facial uses grape seeds for exfoliation. Masseuse Marie-Christine utilizes a combination of Thai techniques for circulation and Swedish techniques for stretching. Special attention is paid to your stomach and back, where women harbor emotion and stress, respectively. 415 Carmel Valley Road, Carmel Valley, Calif., (831) 658-3560, www.bernardus.com

Natural Skin Creations: Healing touch
Tucked in an old Southern home in the Montrose area is a low-key, neighborhood-y spa helping spa-goers get it all. At Natural Skin Creations, skin-care treatments are serious business, and facial specialist Kat Clark offers many types of nonsurgical face lifts to renew and polish your skin. From micro-dermabrasion to laser resurfacing, her use of high-tech treatments jump-start collagen production and stimulate sagging muscles. Vitamin infusions and Clark’s line of skin products can cure even the most stubborn case of rosacea.

The private pool in the back is a perfect couple’s getaway. Have a massage, and then enjoy a glass of wine in the Jacuzzi. This ultimate setting for relaxation and harmony is the perfect way to escape the big city hustle and bustle. 3406 Mount Vernon St., Houston, (866) 254-9978

Trellis Spa: Mood altering
It’s always been a treat to visit the Houstonian; and now with the addition of the Trellis spa, there is a newfound reason to relax, rejuvenate and revitalize.

Ever wonder why you are encouraged to drink more water after a massage? The movement and pressure stimulate and release toxins into your body that must be flushed out as soon as they are disturbed. If not, they will redeposit and continue to cause problems.

Here, you must indulge in a hydrotherapy bath. It’s a full-sized, therapeutic tub that lightly massages with water jets while colors, sounds and aromas revive your senses. 111 N. Post Oak Lane, Houston, (713) 685-6790, www.trellisspa.com

Sunset Body Works: Solitary refinement
One of the only locally owned businesses on Main Street to survive the construction is a quaint spa on the second floor of the Rice Hotel: Sunset Body Works. Some of the original brick is still exposed, taking you back to a time when the Rice Hotel was the center of downtown commerce.

Despite this urban feel, the retreat creates an atmosphere of relaxation and tranquility. You’ll truly believe you are the only person there. Balancing and renewing stressed-out skin, a Zen feeling is transcended through the hands of your masseuse. Here, they devote equal amounts of time on all of your body parts and aren’t afraid to give a really deep sports massage if you request it. 909 Texas, Ste. 206, Houston, (713) 223-5900, www.sunsetbodyworks.com H

The Woodlands is on the Rise

Founded in 1974 by George P. Mitchell, The Woodlands, Texas has kept to its ultimate mission: to be a self-sustaining community where people live together in harmony with nature. In turn, it has become the model nationally and internationally as the best master-planned community ever – a community many times copied, but never truly duplicated. With eight villages – the last one currently under construction – The Woodlands is constantly growing to meet the needs of its residents. This suburb of 27,000 acres has proven not only to be the perfect place to raise a family with top-notch education and expansive natural preserves, but also a corporate headquarters, entertainment destination and shopping experience. With a population of more than 77,000 – a number growing by approximately 3,000 people a year – and 5,000 acres of preserved green space, The Woodlands is the No. 1 master-planned community in Texas. Recognized locally, nationally and internationally, The Woodlands is lauded for its commitment to the environment, aesthetic and functionality of community design, exceptional quality of life and much more. The Woodlands has grown into the most sought-after community in North Houston.

Ideal location
The Greater Houston area has expanded exponentially in the last few decades. Area families have moved out of the city in search of better education, lower home costs and more family-friendly neighborhoods. The Woodlands offers these unique living qualities for suburbanites and much more. Just 27 miles north of downtown Houston, The Woodlands boasts two direct thoroughfares to reach the big city: I-45 and Hardy Toll Road. Twenty-five minutes from Bush Intercontinental Airport and mere miles from Lake Conroe, The Woodlands is a self-sufficient hub north of the city. Just west of I-45 North, visitors are able to exit the expressway directly into the wooded paradise. Residents here enjoy the conveniences of Houston while relishing beautiful surroundings.

Natural habitat
Appropriately named, The Woodlands is situated on the edge of the Piney Woods. With mature trees surrounding just about every open space in the area, founders saw an opportunity to create a residence master-planned around nature. From parks and golf courses to forest preserves, The Woodlands is a modern-day Sherwood Forest.

“We love the natural beauty of The Woodlands. Bike paths and parks are sprinkled everywhere. Living there means we don’t have to drive to a forest and camp to be close to nature,” says a 28-year resident of The Woodlands.

The Woodlands is ultimately planned for a population of 125,000 and 8,000 acres of preserved green space. Currently, there are 135 miles of hike-and-bike trails winding through the city, and 28 percent of the community is dedicated to nature.

Former home of the PGA Shell Houston Open for 17 years, The Woodlands is home to six world-class golf courses. The only community in the nation with signature golf courses designed by Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Gary Player and Tom Fazio, The Woodlands boasts 117 holes of golf. In addition, The Club at Carlton Woods is home to a Nicklaus course that was named best new golf course by Golf Digest in 2003.

Higher learning
Education in The Woodlands proves one of the main reasons why residents move here. Offering an outstanding primary education as well as a number of continuing education institutions, the area attracts many families interested in the award-winning schools available.

The Woodlands offers exceptional public education through Conroe Independent School District. With 10 elementary, three intermediate, two junior high and two high schools located within The Woodlands, there are ample opportunities for learning. The Woodlands College Park High School and a flex elementary school are scheduled to open in the fall of 2005.

All of these schools rate above satisfactory, many receiving additional awards and recognition. The Woodlands High School was recently named a National Blue Ribbon School for superior education.

There are also four private schools in the area, some offering education through high school. Additionally, there are a number of continuing education opportunities in The Woodlands. The North Harris Montgomery Community College District has opened two higher-learning centers here. A junior college, Montgomery College offers students associate degrees and an opportunity to start their bachelor degree close to home. The University Center is a collaboration of six universities that allows students to obtain undergraduate and graduate degrees in addition to teacher certification courses.

Booming business
Although originally a suburb of Houston with residents commuting to the city for jobs, The Woodlands has grown into a thriving business community. According to The Woodlands Operating Company, there are 1,219 employers and 37,175 employees in The Woodlands. Among the major corporations that call the area home is Anadarko Petroleum Corporation, Hewitt Associates LLC, Hughes Christensen and Chevron Phillips Chemical Co.

There are three major business areas: along I-45, the Town Center and The Research Forest. Town Center is a space that houses retail, dining and entertainment options, including The Woodlands Mall with more than 1.2 million square feet of indoor and outdoor venues. The Research Forest is home to pharmaceutical, biomedical and administrative companies.

The Woodlands Town Center Improvement District is a government agency formed by the Texas Legislature in 1993 to promote and maintain economic growth in The Woodlands’ downtown area. Through a 1 percent sales tax, the TCID has been able to facilitate The Woodlands Waterway Convention Center and expand the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion to a 17,000 capacity arena, among other projects. The agency helps tie business, government and community in order to make the area a destination in itself.

Diversion destination
The Woodlands is no longer simply a tranquil suburb, but rather a hub of activity. With more than 150 bars and restaurants, a new Main Street area, The Woodlands Waterway, the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion and The Woodlands Resort & Conference Center, the wooded city to the north of Houston offers an exciting escape.

The Woodlands Waterway, a 1.25-mile winding waterway through Town Center, connects many of The Woodlands’ attractions. Take a water taxi and enjoy the views, stroll along the banks of the river and visit the many stops along the way. From urban residential spaces to The Woodlands Mall to

The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, The Woodlands Waterway gives visitors the chance to relax and take in the beauty of The Woodlands. With the new Market Street under way, The Woodlands offers an old-fashion Main Street area, a space for everyone to congregate, the downtown of The Woodlands. Retail, business, restaurants and bars fill the area, which encourages patrons to leisurely stroll between shops. The 24-acre Market

Street boasts an entertainment stage and green park for pleasant evenings with friends. With 28 current spaces and another 22 spaces to open in the near future, Market Street offers a vast array of options.

With restaurants like Chipotle and Berryhill’s, spas and beauty salons like Bella Rinova and Beauty First, shops like Sur la Table, Aaron Brothers and Luke’s Locker, Market Street has already become a destination for spending a relaxing day in The Woodlands. This spring alone, the area welcomes the wine bar Crú, Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café & Emporium and a new Grotto, in addition to an upscale Cinemark Theater and retail destinations Tickled Pink, Pier One Kids, Elizabeth’s Boutique and Maggie’s. The Woodlands Children’s Museum, a learning play land for the whole family, is also located in Market Street.

Many of the biggest names in music visit The Woodlands’ Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. Seating 17,000 and boasting a relaxing grass-covered hill for picnic-style entertainment, the pavilion has hosted such names as Radiohead, Willie Nelson, Incubus, Gloria Estefan, David Bowie, Aerosmith, REO Speedwagon, Gipsy Kings, Dave Mathews and James Taylor.

With The Woodlands Resort & Conference Center and The Woodlands Waterway Marriott Hotel & Convention Center, this north-Houston suburb has become a destination in itself. Whether for an evening’s stay after a concert at the pavilion or a girls’ weekend getaway filled with shopping and fun, a close family vacation or a business conference just out of town, the accommodations here make The Woodlands the perfect destination. H

Autism: An American Epidemic

In 2003, 11,940 children in Texas had autism, and the numbers are increasing yearly. Autism was found in one out of 291 children in 2003, according to www.fightingautism.org. Is what once was a rare disorder now becoming an epidemic? Autism, a complex developmental disability diagnosed before the age of 3 in most children, is compared to dyslexia or attention deficit disorder. It is more ubiquitous in boys than girls and impacts the normal development of the brain, such as social interactions.

With Americans becoming more aware of this disorder, there has been an increase in organizations offering support and treatment to families across America.

Families for Early Autism Treatment (FEAT), a nonprofit organization of parents and professionals helping families with children who have been diagnosed with autism, offers support groups for families to communicate different issues and treatment options.

Founded in the Sacramento area in 1993, FEAT now has more than 20 chapters. FEAT-Houston was established in 1995 by six families.

“FEAT’s mission is to serve the community in providing that needed support through networking opportunities, informational meetings and the encouragement of professional growth in the field,” according to their website. For more information about autism including how to become a part of FEAT, visit online at www.feathouston.org.

Other Houston organizations that offer support groups include Greater Houston Chapter of the Autism Society of America and Pervasive Developmental Disabilities/Interactional Disorders Association (PDD/IDA). H

Man’s Best Friend

As the soldiers pack up their belongings and prepare to ship out to foreign lands, many are left with the unsettling feeling and unanswered question of what to do with their pets while away at war.

With this in mind, Steve Albin, president of NetPets.org, created the Military Pets Foster Project, the first pet-fostering organization serving overseas military personnel. Caring for cats, dogs, birds and other pets, the nonprofit group was created shortly after the attacks on the World Trade Center. Albin realized that many soldiers had to put their pets up for adoption or even put them to sleep while away at war. As a pet owner, he was appalled at what he learned because it meant that “to serve, you had to be willing to put your best friend to sleep,” he says.

Albin hopes to ease the minds of military personnel as much as possible by providing pets with stable, loving homes while the soldiers are away. This way, soldiers know they will be reunited with their pets upon returning home.

The program finds a match for the animals in suitable homes depending upon the animal’s temperament and the foster home itself. Military personnel are asked to provide as much monetary assistance as possible in regard to the food and medication for their pets.

For acceptance into the service, all animals must be spayed or neutered before or during the program. The only exceptions are in relation to show animals or those owned for breeding. Specifications for the pet’s needs must also be outlined along with the proper veterinary information to better serve the foster families in providing adequate care for the animals.

Since its creation, the Military Pets Foster Project has been endorsed by the Department of Defense and was even mentioned in a news briefing by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld in 2003. The Project has also received praise from the Red Cross, the American Kennel Club, United Way, the Reserve Officers Association and several other organizations.

Albin really had no idea what he was getting himself into when he created the service for military personnel, but he’s very glad he did. With an average of seven to 15 foster placements every day, it has expanded to include all 50 states. They even have foster homes available in Canada, Asia and Europe. (Try running a search for Military Pets Foster Project on any search engine and be amazed at how many results there are.)

The Military Pets Foster Project is always looking for more foster homes and generously accepts any donations, whether corporate or personal, since the organization operates free-of-charge. Foster homes in the Houston area are few, so please do your best to help support our troops and their families in this ongoing effort. H

National Poetry Month

Remember the ubiquitous ‘Roses are red, violets are blue’ verbiage? An art form, poetry can be extremely mature, obscure and thought-provoking. From Shakespearean sonnets to Japanese haikus and even the epic poems of Homer, it’s no wonder April is National Poetry Month.

A little history The Academy of American Poets established National Poetry Month in 1996 with the goal of introducing people to several different forms of poetry. The Academy hoped to promote the study of poetry, as well as garner greater support for the poets and increase publication. Today, thousands of people across the nation come together to celebrate the impact poetry has through festivals, events, readings and contests.

Speak up
Move over, Wordsworth, these are not your grandmother’s rhymes. Spoken word poetry is a popular poetry movement sweeping across the United States. Many times, this rhetoric comes in the form of slam poetry where the recitation of the work becomes a competition. Slam poetry is a performance where the presentation of the work is just as important as the work itself – it’s like going to the theater. The artist emphasizes being seen and heard, rather than merely read on paper. The entire audience is held in rapt attention and even gets to judge the work once it has been performed.

A poet and didn’t know it
If you’re feeling creative, try to publish some of your own poetry online. There are plenty of contests and cash prizes to be won through www.poetry.com. Explore the various styles and pick the one that’s best for you. If you get a little stuck with your rhymes, don’t fret, check out www.rhymezone.com. There’s a plethora of words in their database to help sort you out and put you back on the road to poetic genius.

Kids’ play
Poetry is also a great medium for kids to learn more about language and the world around them. Introduce them to the work of Shel Silverstein. A truly incredible author, Silverstein has written countless poems for children (and the young-at-heart). There is even a page on www.shelsilverstein.com for teachers and parents to help get kids involved with National Poetry Month. All of his poetry is fun to read and gives kids the chance to think outside-the-box and explore the possibilities their imaginations hold. H

Texas Freedom

Every day, Houstonians make the commute to the San Jacinto Monument and are reminded of the battle that changed the destiny of Texas and its history. It was a battle where cries of “Remember the Alamo!” were heard and General Sam Houston defeated the Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna.

On April 21, 1836, in only 18 minutes, Texas was free from Mexican rule. The Battle of San Jacinto, for Mexico, was the loss of approximately a million square miles of territory and, for Texas, led to its annexation into the United States.

According to the San Jacinto Museum, “As a result, almost a third of what is now the United States of America changed ownership.” To experience the full impact of the battle, the San Jacinto Battleground State Historical Park will host a re-enactment and festival on April 23. More than 200 people will depict General Sam Houston and the Texians (as they were called), defeating Santa Anna and the Mexican army 169 years ago.

Take a journey back in time to learn what it was like to live in 1836. There will be a full day of food, demonstrations and entertainment. For more information, call (281) 479-2421 or visit www.sanjacinto-museum.org. H

Super Real Estate Agents

Hundreds of Houston real estate agents stepped out to applaud and celebrate the 2005 Super Realtors, recognized by H Texas and Greater Houston Home Buyer’s Guide and announced by Ken Collins. Professionals from the home industry gathered at the Hotel Derek to nosh on exquisite eats, with fabulous prizes and get a chance to win a Jaguar X-Type. There were so many guests, in fact, sponsors Meritage Homes, Shadow Creek Ranch, New Home Directory and Memorial Park Mortgage invited Realtors to sit at their tables. Feb. 10 proved an especially lucky day for the three top real estate agents in Houston who won exotic vacations. H

Tune in for Top-selling Stories Four Play News, Sex and Booze – all that you can use

Welcome to Channel 4’s nightly news, where we cover Houston like the smog, with our anchors Chip Chap and Twinkie Airhead, weatherman Rainer Shine and sports groupie Homer Fields. All that, plus our exclusive aerial FourNewsCamShotSlamScan.

Hi, neighbors, I’m Chip Chap. Thank you for watching. Our first story is a really bloody murder. (Cut to yellow police tape and blinking red lights in the background.) Somebody got shot, and another person was stabbed. (Cut to two bodies under sheets with boots sticking out.) Now, our next story: Another shooting and another stabbing, then there was this bloody car wreck that killed a bunch of people. Then we have ?

Excuse me, Chip.

Yes, Twinkie?

Those firefighters and police at the car wreck scene, they don’t look like Houston fire and police officials.

Well, actually, the wreck was in Amsterdam. We didn’t have any real good local wrecks to show tonight.

And the Christmas decorations in the background?

Uh, it happened last December. But it really is good and bloody. Now, over to you, Twinkie.

Thanks, Chip. Is your can opener a lethal weapon? Is the federal government hiding the truth about doormats? Plus: “Housewives Working Topless Clubs.” All that, tomorrow night.

Twinkie, do we know the answers to those questions?

Of course, but this is sweeps month; and if we tell them the answers, they won’t tune in tomorrow night. Now, here with sports is Homer Fields.

Thanks. Today the Killer Bees swatted the horsehide over the green monster as the ‘Stros clipped the Beantown Bombers 5-zip. In other scores, it was 3-3, 8-0 and 12-10. In pro hoops, T-Mac may go to La-La Land, and the Chuckster could be a partner in Mo Town. Finally, America’s Team signed Gonzo to dance with Norm the Arm.

Homer, I didn’t understand a single word you said.

That’s jock-talk, Chip. It’s the same with sports reporters for newspapers. Notice how they will write 10 paragraphs before telling the reader who won, by how much and why? It’s not our job to report. It’s our job to show how clever we are.

Homer, your reports are nothing but stale clichés, mysterious nicknames and sophomoric humor. Why can’t you just speak English?

Gee, I never thought of that. Oh, one last item: We need to buy those season tickets for next fall’s Rice and UH football games. We’ve got to support our local teams. Same with the pros – Texans, Rockets, Aeros and Astros. Buy those tickets.

Homer, how many season tickets did you buy?

Well, actually, none.

Did you buy tickets for maybe one, just one, game?

Not exactly.

That’s because you get in free to every game, don’t you? And they ply you with food and booze, then you have the audacity to tell us to buy tickets? You’re a shameless, aging cheerleader.

What’s your point?

In other news, we are having some really heavy rains, so let’s go to our field reporter, Wolf Crier, for an update.

Chip, as you can see, the water is flooding Bellaire. It’s up to my knees now. Remember, folks: Don’t walk in this deep water. There could be downed live electric lines or open manhole covers.

But Wolf, you’re walking in that water.

Right, Chip, to show viewers that AGGGGGG!

We seem to have lost our picture, but we’ll try to get back to Wolf later in the program. Speaking of floods, Rainer, what happened to the ‘sunny and dry’ prediction last night?

It’s not my fault, gang. I blame it on Wally the Weather Walrus. Notice tonight, he’s all dressed up like an armadillo because tomorrow are the Houston Armadillo Races, and we’ll be there.

Wally doesn’t seem to like the costume.

No, Twinkie, he loves it. Let go of my arm, Wally. He just – Wally, let go! Each night we – I’m bleeding! Get a doctor!

Next, we have Letters from our Viewers:
“Why is it that every night you run story after story of shootings, car wrecks and apartment fires but never touch on the city budget, pollution, school board debates or anything of substance? Signed, Switching to CNN, in Sugar Land.”

Let me handle that one, Twinkie. It costs money to assign a reporter to spend the days needed to go through the city budget or investigate pollution in the Ship Channel. But we can pay some freelance TV cameraman a few bucks to get all the fires and barroom shootings we want. Our parent company, Bottom Line Inc., knows what it’s doing.

But, Chip, I have a question, too. Why do we put the news on at 10 o’clock instead of doing like most of the nation does and run the evening news at 11?

Most of Houston can’t stay up to watch the 10 o’clock news. If we were on at 11, we wouldn’t have any viewers at all. Even so, we’re tied in ratings with the Cartoon Channel.

A lot of viewers think this is the Cartoon Channel.

Hey, we’re serious journalists. Incidentally, is that a new sports jacket? Goes great with the tie.

Thanks, Twinkie. And your new hairdo is a real knockout.

Wally, let go! Somebody get a taser!

We’ll be back with the latest developments on World War III after these messages.

Glad you choose, FourPlay News, Love and hatings, rants and ratings, FourPlay News – H

Astros Touch Lives

Each year, the Houston Astros baseball club dedicates time off the field to give back to Houstonians.

Behind the scenes, the Astros Community Development Department is devoted to helping with an assortment of community functions. They are the driving force in coordinating Astros youth programs, donation requests, player visits and many other projects.

Get Involved with Little League
“Grand Slam for Youth Baseball (GSFYB) is one of the larger Astros community programs,” Todd Fedewa, business communications director says. Partnered with Minute Maid, it is a four-part program for boys and girls in the Houston area to learn and experience baseball as well as self-confidence and teamwork. In 2004, the Astros and Minute Maid refurbished the Northeast Family YMCA Youth Baseball Field, according to Hometown Highlights, the Astros’ community development newsletter. One youth field will be renovated per year over the next two decades. All local teams are encouraged to apply by contacting the Astros. A selection committee then visits each field to decide which is best qualified.

Hero in all of us
Astros also recognize people within their community making a difference. Astros Hometown Heroes is designed to distinguish someone in the community who helped in astonishing ways.

Visit the Astros website, www.astros.com, to nominate someone in your neighborhood or community that has made a difference. Last year, there were three Hometown Heroes chosen. Each winner was a special guest of the team for a game. Winners also threw out the first pitch. “The players are very generous in the community project the club sets up. They participate in many different things, including visits to the hospital or helping with a food drive,” Fedewa says.

A team for the community
In the last three years, Astros in Action have donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to worthy causes such as the Sept. 11 fund and Tropical Storm Allison victims. Helping field the dreams of Houston, Astros in Action’s mission is to enhance the quality of life in the community through education, health and spiritual endeavors. They sponsored countless community events in 2004. Astros in Action have the ACTION TEAM, a group of community volunteers to assist. For more information on how to become a part of the ACTION TEAM, contact astrosinactionfoundation@astros.com.

Standing out for the children
Although the Astros are devoted to helping the community as a team, there are a few players that have their own foundations, including Roger Clemens with the Roger Clemens Foundation, Craig Biggio as the national spokesperson for the Sunshine Kids and Lance Berkman with Berkman’s Bunch.

The Astros open their season against the St. Louis Cardinals April 5 at Minute Maid Park. For more information on how to support your Houston Astros in their 2005 season, visit www.astros.com. H

Top Docs for Women

Timothy N. Hickman,
M.D., F.A.C.O.G.
Houston IVF
920 Frostwood, Ste. 720
Houston, TX 77024
(713) 465-1211
www.houstonivf.net

After completing his residency and fellowship at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and serving as the program director and medical director of the Air Force?s in vitro fertilization program, Dr. Timothy N. Hickman founded Houston IVF to continue providing the highest quality of reproductive care in a civilian setting. Board certified in obstetrics and gynecology as well as reproductive endocrinology and infertility, Dr. Hickman uses years of qualified experience, elite medical training and the utmost in medical technologies and procedures to find the solution to his patients? infertility problems.

Dr. Hickman founded Houston IVF in 2001, along with William Schoolcraft, M.D. and David Gardner, Ph.D., both of the highly successful Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. Partnering the Houston IVF research department with that of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine results in world-class resources for research in assisted reproductive technologies. In 2004, with the addition of Dr. Laurie J. McKenzie, Houston IVF has established itself as one of the leaders in infertility care and research.

Dr. Hickman is a fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine Patient Education Committee and the webmaster for the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. He is the former American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists Delegate to the American Medical Association-Resident Fellow Section and the former ASRM delegate to the American Medical Association Young Physician Section.

In addition to high-quality personalized fertility care, Houston IVF offers some of the highest success rates in the nation. Patients can research fertility clinics? success rates on the CDC?s website at: http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/ART2002/clinics02.asp.

Specialty: Reproductive endocrinology and infertility, obstetrics and gynecology
Education: Brigham Young University, B.A.; St. Louis University School of Medicine, M.D.; Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

Laurie J. McKenzie, M.D.
Houston IVF
920 Frostwood, Ste. 720
Houston, TX 77024
(713) 465-1211
www.houstonivf.net

Dr. McKenzie is medical director of Houston IVF and is on clinical faculty for both University of Texas and Baylor College of Medicine. After graduating with honors from the University of Florida Medical School, followed by her completion of a residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Texas, Dr. McKenzie completed fellowship training in reproductive endocrinology and infertility at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Dr. McKenzie is committed to providing her patients the best reproductive care scientifically available in order to optimize the chance of pregnancy.

Professional memberships include the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, Endocrine Society and the American Medical Association. She is a professional member of RESOLVE, the National Fertility Association. Dr. McKenzie has received many honors and awards, including the John Harrington Tanous Research Award, the NIH Fellowship Award and membership in the Alpha Omega Alpha National Medical Honor Society. In 2003, she was awarded the prestigious ACOG Ortho-McNeil Academic Fellowship.

Dr. McKenzie has published both basic science research and clinical reports in peer-reviewed journals, as well as chapters in textbooks on reproductive topics. Her research related to preimplantation genetic diagnosis, embryo selection and male factor infertility has been presented at national and international research meetings, including the Society for Gynecologic Investigation, American Society for Reproductive Medicine and the International Society for Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis, and she has been an invited speaker for courses given by the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

Dr. McKenzie?s areas of expertise include IVF, preimplantation genetic diagnosis, recurrent pregnancy loss, reproductive surgery and fertility preservation in couples undergoing therapy for cancer. Dr. McKenzie?s current research is targeting means to improve embryo selection and gene regulation in human oocytes.

Specialty: Reproductive endocrinology and infertility, obstetrics and gynecology
Education: University of Florida, B.A., B.S.; University of Florida School of Medicine, M.D.; University of Texas, residency; Baylor College of Medicine, fellowship

Isam Balat, M.D.
Plaza OB-GYN Associates
1200 Binz, Ste. 1100
Houston, TX 77004
(713) 522-3333
www.plaza-obgyn.com

Dr. Isam Balat started in private practice in 1976 in the Houston Medical Center as soon as he ended his training in OB-GYN at the University of Texas in Houston. Since then, he has been taking care of several generations of Houston families. His patients respect him and refer their friends because of his excellent care, his availability and his commitment to their well-being.

Dr. Balat believes that the recent advances in women?s health care are very exciting. Endometrial ablation, a new procedure to minimize bleeding, is done as an outpatient procedure with a fast recovery. Also, several new options, both medical and surgical, are now available to help women with urinary incontinence which afflicts many women later in their life. Endometriosis, a major cause of pelvic pain that affects approximately 7 million women, can now be managed with the new generation of medications. In areas of infertility, new approaches to polycystic ovarian disease and ovulation induction have helped many achieve pregnancy.

Nine years ago, Dr. Balat founded Plaza OB-GYN Associates in the museum district. Dr. Balat and his associates, Dr. Chundar Tsai and Dr. Katherine Sullivan admit patients to Woman?s Hospital, Memorial Hermann Hospital and Park Plaza Hospital.

Board certification: board certified in obstetrics and gynecology since 1977
Education: University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, M.D.; University of Texas Houston, obstetrics and gynecology residency

Michael Eisemann,
M.D., P.A., F.A.C.S.
Eisemann Cosmetic DaySurgery Center
6550 Fannin
Houston, TX 77030
(713) 790-1771
www.cosmeticsurgeryhouston.com

A ?Top Doc? four years running, Dr. Michael Eisemann is a Board Certified Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon and a Board Certified Ear, Nose and Throat, Head and Neck Surgeon who has been serving Houston-area women for more than 20 years. Operating out of the Eisemann Cosmetic DaySurgery Center in the Texas Medical Center, Dr. Eisemann specializes in aesthetic and reconstructive breast surgery, liposuction and body contouring, breast enhancement and augmentation, and nasal and facial plastic surgery.

A past president of the Houston Society of Plastic Surgeons and fellow of the American College of Surgeons, Dr. Eisemann has been selected as a top doctor for the past four years. With a nationally accredited, full operating room, most of the surgery Dr. Eisemann performs is done under regional anesthesia, meaning the patient breathes on her own without the use of a mask or respirator, which decreases the risk of complications.

While he performs many liposuction and breast augmentation surgeries, Dr. Eisemann also does many facial surgeries as well as nasal surgery and secondary surgery, the repairing of previous surgeries that failed to produce satisfactory results. After a surgery internship at the Yale-New Haven Hospital, Dr. Eisemann served as chief resident of Otolaryngology ? Head and Neck Surgery ? at the Johns Hopkins Hospital and did his Plastic Surgery residency at Baylor College of Medicine. He is a member of the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery.

Specialty: Plastic surgery
Education: Colgate University, B.A.; Jefferson Medical College, M.D.; Yale, General Surgery Residency; Johns Hopkins Hospital, Otolaryngology Residency; Baylor College of Medicine, Plastic Surgery Residency

Susan Ellison, D.D.S.
12850 Jones Road, Ste. 103 Houston, TX 77070 (281) 890-2828 www.susanellisondds.com

With over 16 years in private practice, Dr. Susan Ellison offers her patients the best of both worlds: state-of-the-art sophistication delivered with warm, soothing, personalized care. The experience of her dentistry is a relaxing one, made possible by the calm soothing atmosphere, the soft touch dentistry Dr. Ellison performs, and the caring staff who will take care of you from the moment you walk in the door.

Offering everything from full mouth restorations to teeth whitening, veneers, crowns, bridges, and root canals, Dr. Ellison is able to take care of all of her patients? dental needs. Some even travel across the globe in order to receive Dr. Ellison?s services.

The exceptional dentistry performed by Dr. Ellison is a result of her advanced training at the world-renowned Las Vegas Institute for Advanced Dental Studies. Here she received training in comprehensive aesthetic and neuromuscular dentistry. She also offers the advantage and convenience of the Cerec 3D system which allows her to custom design and place inlays, onlays, and crowns in just one appointment.

Dr. Ellison believes ?This is such an exciting time to be a dentist and to work with all of the beautiful, natural-looking materials available today. We are able to do so much for our patients?health, beauty and confidence.?

Specialty: Cosmetic dentistry
Education: University of Texas at Austin, B.S.; University of Texas Dental Branch at Houston, D.D.S.

Gregory P. Harvey, M.D.
Orthopaedic Associates, LLP
1315 St. Joseph Pkwy., Ste.800
Houston, TX 77002
(713) 650-6900

22999 U.S. 59 North, Ste. 276
Kingwood, TX 77339
(281) 358-4145
www.oadoc.com

Dr. Gregory P. Harvey is a Board Certified Orthopedic Surgeon who is fellowship trained in sports medicine and shoulder surgery. Originally from New York, Dr. Harvey has used his extensive experience to train residents in the finer points of arthroscopic surgery at the University of Texas Medical School. Having practiced orthopedic surgery in Houston since 1991, Dr. Harvey?s reputation as a skilled orthopedic surgeon and compassionate physician is well-known in the community. Dr. Harvey is a partner of Orthopaedic Associates, founded in 1950, the oldest ongoing orthopedic group in Houston with state-of-the-art facilities in downtown Houston and Kingwood. His practice includes some general orthopedics, but his main focus is on sports injuries, knee and shoulder injuries, as well as total joint replacement of the shoulder. He is one of the few physicians in the Houston area who are specifically trained in Carticel Procedures, (Autologous Chondrocyte Implantation), which is a biologic product used to repair articular cartilage damage in the knee (an innovative treatment for cartilage loss).

Dr. Harvey completed his Fellowship in Sports Medicine at the Baylor College of Medicine. He is the Chief of Sports Medicine and a Clinical Assistant Professor of Orthopedics at the University of Texas Medical Center. Sharing his talents and skills as an orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Harvey currently serves as one of the physicians for the U.S. Ski Team. He is also the Director of the Christus St. Joseph Hospital Sports Medicine Rehab Center and he was the former Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery.

Specialty: Orthopedic surgery and sports medicine Education: Tufts University, B.S.; New York Medical College, M.D.

KSF Orthopaedic Center P.A.
17270 Red Oak Drive, Ste. 200
Houston, TX 77090
(281) 440-6960
18220 Tomball Parkway, Ste. 270
Houston, TX 77070
(832) 912-7804
www.ksfortho.com

Mark A. S. Stuart, M.D.
Dr. Mark A. S. Stuart has been practicing in the F.M. 1960 area since 1977. As one of the founding partners of KSF Orthopaedic Center P.A., his expertise in arthroscopic surgery makes him an in demand teacher of surgical procedures around the globe. Dr. Stuart is known as one of the premier orthopaedic surgeons in Houston.

?Women know their bodies better than anyone else,? Dr. Stuart says. ?I find that by taking time and listening carefully to each patient, I can best determine the cause of her pain. After appropriate tests, I discuss the treatment options and work with her to return her to optimal well-being.?

Travis W. Hanson, M.D.
Dr. Travis Hanson has established himself as a premier provider of state-of-the-art orthopaedic care in Houston. His background includes being named the outstanding premedical student in his graduating class at Rice University. After attending medical school at Washington University in St. Louis, he completed his orthopaedic surgery residency at UCLA. He then returned to Houston for a subspecialty fellowship in foot and ankle surgery.

In 2003, Dr. Hanson joined KSF Orthopaedic Center P.A. His practice focuses on the full spectrum of foot and ankle problems, from bunions to complex lower extremity trauma.

Marc Kudisch, M.D.
Physicians Endoscopy Center
3030 S. Gessner, Ste. 150
Houston, TX 77063
(713) 587-0909
(713) 587-0912 fax
www.pec-tx.com

In November 2001, a group of gastroenterologists merged practices with the goal of ?improving the management and coordination of services to customers in south Texas.?

Such was the beginning of Physicians Endoscopy Center (PEC), which specializes in gastrointestinal medicine. The practice utilizes endoscopy, a minimally invasive procedure where a small endoscope is used to visualize the digestive tract. PEC has been accredited for three years by the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care (AAAHC) for its commitment to providing the highest level of health care.

Eighteen doctors now work for Physicians Endoscopy Center, including Dr. Marc Kudisch, a prominent member of the American College of Gastroenterology, American Gastroentero- logical Association and Texas Society of Gastrointestinal Endoscopy. Dr. Kudisch, who has been with PEC since its inception, was previously a gastroenterological fellow at UT-Galveston, in addition to chief resident of St. Francis Medical Center in Pittsburgh. Members of the PEC nursing staff are active in professional organizations, annually attending courses about recent trends within the field. Kim Molke, the nurse administrator, was recently awarded Nurse of the Year by the Crohn?s and Colitis Foundation.

?We believe every patient is a unique and special person who deserves our full consideration,? reads the beginning of the Center?s ethics statement. ?To accomplish our mission of providing highest quality care to these patients, we envision patient care to exceed customer expectations.?

Specialty: Gastroenterology
Education: University of Rome?Italy, M.D.; University of Texas Medical Branch, Gastroenterology fellowship

David A. Lee,
M.D., F.A.C.S.
6560 Fannin, Ste. 1760
Houston, TX 77030
(713) 795-5584
www.cosmeticplastic.com

Combining 21st century technology with a style of doctor-patient relationship more reminiscent of the 1950s, Dr. David Lee is one of a limited number of surgeons who is double board certified. These distinct surgical specialties, plastic surgery and otorhinolaryngology (ear, nose and throat surgery), contribute to Dr. Lee?s expertise in facial plastic surgery.

Dr. Lee believes that many physicians today have forgotten the importance of listening to the patient, finding a satisfactory solution for the problem that is bothering the patient and then being there after the surgical procedure for support and comfort ? a principle so simple yet serves as the cornerstone of his practice.

Dr. Lee limits his practice to cosmetic and aesthetic surgery with some select reconstructive surgery of the breast and face. He has been in the same location in the Texas Medical Center since completing his plastic surgery residency at Baylor College of Medicine in July 1985.

Current societies in which Dr. Lee holds active membership include the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, American Society of Plastic Surgery, Texas Society of Plastic Surgery and Houston Society of Plastic Surgery. He has served as past president of the Houston Society of Plastic Surgery and on committees with several of the other societies.

Dr. Lee is active on the staff of the Methodist Hospital, St. Luke?s Episcopal Hospital and The Woman?s Hospital of Texas.

In addition to medicine, Dr. Lee is a newfound playwright. His play ?Shrowded? won the gold award at the 2003 Houston World Fest, and another play he penned, ?Pages Folded Down,? is being considered for the 2005 awards.

Dr. Lee is also the owner of the Pierson Riverhouse Bed & Breakfast in Natchitoches, Louisiana.

Specialty: Plastic Surgery
Education: Louisiana State Univeristy, New Orleans, M.D.; Baylor College of Medicine, Houston, Plastic Surgery and Otolaryngology Residencies

Guy M. Lewis, D.D.S., F.A.D.F.E.
Texas Center for Cosmetic Dentistry and Spa
4800 W. Panther Creek Drive, Ste. 200
The Woodlands, TX 77381
(281) 36-SMILE
www.lovethatsmile.com

For more than 20 years, Dr. Guy M. Lewis has had a special interest in cosmetic dentistry. In 1984, he, along with other internationally recognized cosmetic dentists, founded the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. An accreditation process was developed in order to recognize, as well as scrutinize, the work of those who wished to set themselves apart as excellent cosmetic dentists. Dr. Lewis became the youngest member to be accredited and is one of only 250 worldwide to attain this status.

?It?s very gratifying to see how new smiles continue to improve the confidence and overall happiness in my patients,? Dr. Lewis says. With his passionate attitude and a string of accolades and accreditations, Dr. Lewis is understandably among the ?Best Dentists in America? as listed by Woodward/White Inc., a ?Top Doctor for Women? as awarded by H Texas magazine, and a ?Super Dentist? as awarded by Texas Monthly magazine.

Dr. Lewis is proud to have patients travel from around the world to The Woodlands to receive world-class cosmetic dentistry. His patients consist of high-profile professional athletes, Grammy and Emmy Award winners, elected officials, models and actors, TV personalities and beauty queens; but the majority of his patients are average Houstonians who are everyday people seeking a healthy, beautiful, confident smile.

Dr. Lewis utilizes his talent to change lives with cosmetic dentistry. ?It?s extremely important to make sure that you get someone who is experienced, who has proven himself through an accreditation process,? he says. With many of the top dentists in specialty fields, spa treatments and a relaxing atmosphere, The Texas Center for Cosmetic Dentistry and Spa is a premier dental facility.

Specialty: Cosmetic dentistry
Education: Abilene Christian University, B.S.; Baylor College of Dentistry, D.D.S.

Rakesh K. Mangal, M.D., F.A.C.O.G.
Fertility Specialists of Houston
Obstetrical and Gynecological Associates, PA
7550 Fannin
Houston,TX 77054
(713) 512-7880

4724 Sweetwater Blvd., Ste. 105
Sugar Land, TX 77479
(832) 553-5483
1 (800) 988-0081
rmangal@obgynassociates.com

Dr. Rakesh Mangal is one of the few doctors in America who has completed fellowship trainings in both advanced reproductive laparoscopic surgery as well as reproductive endocrinology and infertility, allowing him to be the medical and surgical specialist for endometriosis, pelvic pain and infertility.

Nearly a decade ago, Dr.Mangal joined his friend and teacher Dr. Robert Franklin, an internationally known endometriosis and infertility surgeon, in private practice at Obstetrics and Gynecological Associates (OGA) of Houston. Founded in 1962, it is now one of the largest and most technologically advanced ob-gyn groups in the U.S. OGA?s assisted reproductive center, now called Fertility Specialists of Houston (FSH), is one of the largest and consistently successful IVF programs in the nation.

In addition to writing numerous articles and chapters in medical textbooks on infertility and endometriosis surgery, Dr. Mangal teaches surgical techniques to doctors in training. His patients boast about his individualized care, compassion and understanding, from initial consultation through the entire treatment.

One of his endometriosis patients who flew down from New Jersey just for surgery writes of her pregnancy, ?You have made a miracle come true ? I really appreciate the time you took to listen to me and treat my symptoms. Finally, someone was listening to me!?

Another patient with extensive endometriosis requiring bowel resection, large chocolate ovarian cysts, and extensive adhesions writes of her newborn, ?I truly believe that she wouldn?t be here if you hadn?t done such a terrific job in my surgery ? If you hadn?t taken the time you did to do what you did to save my ovaries as well as my right tube, she wouldn?t be here and we might still be struggling.?

Dr. Mangal is the president-elect for the Indian Doctors Association of Houston with over 1,000 Indian doctors residing in this area. The association has a charity clinic which provides free general medical care to anyone with financial difficulty. In his free time, Dr. Mangal enjoys travel and spending time with his wife, Seema, and daughter, Reeti.

Specialty: Reproductive endocrinology and infertility, obstetrics and gynecology with advanced training in endometriosis and pelvic pain surgeries
Education: Millsaps College, B.S.; Tulane University, M.D.; Ochsner Medical Institutions, residency in obstetrics and gynecology; Women?s Hospital of Texas, Society of Reproductive Surgeons (SRS) fellowship; Baylor College of Medicine, fellowship in reproductive endocrinology and infertility Board certifications: Obstetrics and Gynecology as well as Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility

Northwest Diagnostic Clinic P.A.
1140 Cypress Station Drive
Houston, TX 77090
9100 Forest Crossing Drive, Ste. A
The Woodlands, TX 77381
(281) 440-5300
(866) 333-6932
www.nwdiagnostic.com

Celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, Northwest Diagnostic Clinic serves the patients of Houston and The Woodlands with care and compassion. They are able to offer the most advanced diagnostic services to their patients in an office setting that is comfortable and convenient, and in most cases just minutes away from the patient?s home or work.

All of the physicians of Northwest Diagnostic Clinic are board certified in their respective specialties by the American Board of Medical Specialties. The clinic offers care in internal medicine, family practice and rheumatology in its two locations.

Northwest Diagnostic Clinic congratulates its two Top Docs for Women, James Krause, M.D. and Stephen Fillman, M.D., F.A.C.P.

After getting his M.D. at Ohio State University, Dr. Jim Krause did his internal medicine residency at UTMB in Galveston, before founding Northwest Diagnostic Clinic with Dr. Dave McNeill in 1975.

Dr. Steve Fillman joined the clinic in 1982 after completing his residency in internal medicine at UTMB in Galveston and serving a stint with the United States Air Force. He was named a fellow in the American College of Physicians in 2001.

Both of these physicians are true exemplars of the caring spirit of Northwest Diagnostic Clinic.

Weekend Getaways

Hop in the car. Roll down the windows. Turn up the music, and drive. Weekend getaways can be the perfect solution for a hard week. With so many options within a couple of hours drive of Houston, you can take a break every weekend and explore the Lone Star State. So, grab your keys, and let?s go!

Have a grape time
You don?t have to fly to California to discover a little taste of the wine country. That?s right. Just a little more than an hour from Houston is the Messina Hof Winery in Bryan-College Station. This beautiful estate boasts year-round events to please the palate and tantalize the tongue. Plan your own wine-tasting event with family and friends by simply arriving at the winery anytime. A mere $5 allows you to sample four different wines, keep the glass and learn about local wine. Enjoy the view on the patio as you overlook grapevines, a gazebo and a lake.

Any time is a grape time to head out to Messina Hof. We recommend visiting during harvest, from mid-July through most of August. You can join in the fun by attending one of many harvest events.

The grape stomp starts promptly at 8:30 a.m. each Saturday and Sunday of the five-week harvest. You have to arrive early in the morning, but you get a 30-minute talk from the winemaker himself as he fills you with neat tidbits and prepares you for the day.

Next, you’ll head out to the vineyards. Learn to discern a good bunch of grapes from a bad one, and don?t eat too many ? you might explode. Our group went through about six rows, cutting the bunches from the vine. That?s just enough to make you appreciate your office job. All the while, the winemakers walk around and chat you up. You dump your grapes into a big bin, and then they are loaded into the stomping machine.

Take part in the winery?s tradition (since it is in Aggie country, after all) and do the ?Lucille Ball? during the annual grape stomp. Then, you step out and put your footprints on a commemorative T-shirt. Rinse your toes, tour the facilities and enjoy a tasting.

Lunch follows, as do classes in wine pairing. A quaint bed and breakfast is also a great option. Those who stay enjoy vintner dinners which feature menus that change according to the wines. If you like what you sample, be sure to pick up ?The Ultimate Wine & Food Pairing Cookbook? written by the owner, Merrill Bonarrigo.

A day in Bryan-College Station isn?t complete without a visit to the Chicken Oil Co. And don?t just ask an Aggie, ask anyone who?s been to College Station. This dose of Texana is sure to awaken the senses ? if the Freddy?s burger doesn?t do it for you instead.

Want more than a burger? Just down the street is some of the best barbecue we?ve found. Owned and operated by Cody Whitten, a friend of the magazine, the full-service options at J. Cody?s Steaks & BBQ leave even the most discerning tastes satisfied. Don?t forget to try Mom?s secret corn casserole recipe. Try as we might, Cody?s is just not parting with the secret.

A river runs through itA day spent on the river has got to be better than a day spent anywhere else. Period. Just two hours and 15 minutes away from Houston (if you don?t stop), it?s almost a straight shot on I-10 to the Texas Hill Country. If rivers like the Guadalupe ran through Houston, truly, we?d never have to leave.

The Guadalupe River has many entry points. We suggest catching it in the quaint town of Gruene, rather than college-student-laden San Marcos. You must reserve early at the Guadalupe Outpost to ensure a riverside room. Start your day at the Gruene River Co., where you can rent tubes (they say ?toobs?), kayaks and rafts. If cold beer, warm water and string bikinis suit your fancy, take this trip any weekend during the summer. It?s as though every fraternity and sorority in Texas has made this a rite of passage. Much like Houston?s famed rodeo trail ride, the river is literally a traveling cocktail party.

Bringing the kids along? Opt for a weekday to avoid the crowds. Kayaks are a great way to enjoy nature and see more of the fish swimming below. Three- and five-hour floats are available; and if the river is low, it can take a bit longer.

Down the street from the Gristmill is the new Gruene River Grill, and it?s fabulous. The rustic mill interior is the perfect setting for a chef who isn?t afraid to use salt, spices and sauces.

Watch out for the extra-hot chicken chipotle ? not for the faint at heart. A house special, the ribs Hawaiian style fall off the bone; and the tilapia doesn?t taste fishy at all and comes with a crawfish sauce that is to die for. By our standards, the best item on the menu is the roasted veggies, which are so tasty we had to ask for seconds.

Gruene Hall, one of the oldest dance halls in Texas, is a historic landmark to be enjoyed by all ages. The entrance is a venerable hall of fame to everyone cool in country and Texas music. Guests are greeted while passing through the historic doors with a panoramic scrapbook of past guests who played. Heavy hitter George Strait played here for eight years before his Ace in the Hole band went national. (The picture on the back of his first album was even shot here.)

This hangout is a great family establishment ? limited to only beer and wine. The cute teens outnumbered and outdanced the adults two to one. Put the kiddos to bed and head to Saengerhalle or the River Road Icehouse for more live music and a friendly vibe.

I?d rather be on the beach
Texas beaches are rough ? mostly unkempt and muddy. Surely this is your impression if you?ve only been to Houston-centric beaches like Bolivar and Surfside. The good news is that all of that changes when you go south to Matagorda and on down to Mustang Island. Head past Corpus Christi to South Padre Island, and you?ll discover the true Texas Riviera.

It?s at least a six-hour drive from Houston; a great idea is to fly to Brownsville or Harlingen. This brings you to within an hour of the Laguna Madre?s sandy beaches.

Before crossing the bridge, take the last possible right turn, and you will find the absolute best hot sauce this side of the Rio Grande. The dive is called Mexiquito. The service is down-home, with breakfast and lunch specials usually less than $5. The hot sauce is so good, you?ll be running back for more. And get there early to make sure you have a seat; all the fishermen in town will be there filling up for the day.

You may remember the Sheraton and the Radisson from your Spring Break days, or your credit-card receipts from your children?s Spring Break days. They are still the best bet today, unless you want to rent a condo or a house.

Bayside dining at Scampi?s, Amberjacks and Louie?s Backyard all provide a phenomenal view. The best is Amberjacks Bayside Bar & Grill for the quality of the food. But Louie?s is typically a crowd favorite, due to the unlimited crab legs and steak at the buffet.

Want Mexican food, but want to make sure that your margarita is top-shelf? Jesse?s Cantina & Restaurant?s sign boasts the best margaritas on the island. They are good, but are only in the shadow of their hot sauce.

Romance and adventure
After all these years, the San Antonio River Walk is still one of the most romantic spots in Texas. Owners of the La Mansion del Rio Hotel have opened the Watermark Hotel & Spa to rave reviews. Offering Old World charm in brand-new digs, this boutique hotel is the ultimate weekend getaway. The Watermark Hotel & Spa is a boutique hotel with service written all over it. With only 99 rooms, an attentive staff and the best dining on the River Walk at Pesca, you?re truly in for the escape you deserve.

The décor here scores maracas and piñatas above the fiesta-style establishments we?ve all grown accustomed to in San Antonio. Chef Jonathan Parker arrived from New York and is sending ripples up and down the river with the fresh catch flown in daily. The oyster bar greets you as you enter and sets the perfect tone for freshness and flavor. The grouper and king crab legs are both delectable, and the red snapper braised with French lentils and roasted to perfection, rivals the best any top-notch restaurant has to offer.

A casual stroll along the River Walk can be as crowded as Loop 610 during rush hour as the droves of tourists descend. So pull up a chair, order a cocktail and relax an arm?s length out of the bustle. It?s just enough space to people watch while avoiding the narrow walkways and way-too-eager-to-serve restaurateurs.

Tired of walking? Hail a river taxi and give your feet a break. The River Walk actually started with the San Antonio River, and the boat rides were created for the 1968 World?s Fair, as was the Tower of the Americas (which we heard has been purchased by Houston-based Landry?s). If the kids are in tow, San Antonio is the perfect destination. Force them to see The Alamo ? because every red-blooded American (especially Texans!) should. It?s a great place to experience history.

Other cool things the kids will love include Ripley?s Believe it or Not ? see the world?s tallest man and other really ridiculous human phenomena. Don?t miss Ripley?s Haunted Mansion, where you will actually hear the command: ?Hold on to the person in front of you, and don?t let go!? (What if you don?t like them? You?ll never make it through the house.)

And then there?s the Guinness Book of World Records, which is basically the book brought to life. Again, you?ll see the world?s tallest man, along with the man who?s eaten the most cockroaches.

Run, don?t walk, back to the Watermark and erase the memory of the world?s tallest man with a massage and facial at the spa. Sunday morning, skip across the river for the best Sunday brunch in town at La Mansion del Rio. H

Essentials
Bryan-College Station
Messina Hof Winery and Resort, 4545 Old Reliance Road, (800) 736-9463, www.messinahof.com ? Chicken Oil Co., 3600 S. College Ave., (979) 846-3306, www.dixiechicken.com ? J. Cody?s Steaks & BBQ, 3610 S. College Ave., (979) 846-CODY, www.jcodys.com

Gruene
Guadalupe Outpost, 1273 River Terrace, (830) 625-7772 ? Gruene River Co., 1404 Gruene Road, (888) 705-2800, www.toobing.com ? Gruene River Grill, 1259 Gruene Road, (830) 624-2300, www.gruenerivergrill.com ? Gruene Hall, 1281 Gruene Road, (830) 606-1281, www.gruenehall.com ? Saengerhalle, 255 Saengerhalle Road, (830) 625-4255 ? River Road Icehouse, 1791 Hueco Springs Road, (830) 626-1335

South Padre Island
Mexiquito, 814 S. Garcia St., Port Isabel (956) 943-6106 ? Radisson Resort South Padre, 500 Padre Blvd., (800) 333-3333, www.radisson.com ? Sheraton South Padre Island Beach Hotel, 310 Padre Blvd., (956) 761-6551, www.sheraton.com ? Amberjacks Bayside Bar & Grill, 209 W. Amberjack St., (956) 761-6500, www.spadre.com/amberjacks.htm ? Jesse?s Cantina & Restaurant, 2700 Padre Blvd., (956) 761-4500

San Antonio
Watermark Hotel & Spa, 212 W. Crockett St., (866) 605-1212, www.watermarkhotel.com ? Pesca on the River, 212 W. Crockett St., (210) 396-5817, www.watermarkhotel.com ? San Antonio River Walk, (210) 227-4262, www.sanantonio riverwalk.com ? The Alamo, 300 Alamo Plaza, www.thealamo.org ? Louis Tussaud?s Plaza Wax Museum and Ripley?s Believe it or Not, 301 Alamo Plaza, (210) 224-9299, www.plazawaxmuseum.com ? Guinness World Records Museum, 329 Alamo Plaza, (210) 226-2828, www.guinnessattractions.com

Reba McEntire: Country Goes Chic

She is an award-winning country music singer, the star of her own TV comedy series and … a fashion designer. Reba McEntire is a woman who wears many hats, and she is now sharing her knowledge of them with us.

From classy suits to the perfect little black dress, Reba McEntire’s new line of clothing stresses comfort. Beyond beautiful fabrics and complimentary lines, these pieces let you live.

“When I finally started making a little bit of money, I thought, ‘Oh man, now I can go buy some clothes,'” McEntire says. “Well, I found out that just because they’re in the stores, they’re expensive and they look a certain way doesn’t mean I was going to be comfortable in them. That was what really was the hard part for me – finding something that was comfortable.”